I'm how old?

Yesterday I saw Avatar with my sisters. (my real sister, and abbey, who's like my sister) Anyways tonight the Lady Ags were playing and I wanted to go so I told Kim to see if Abbey wanted to go. She said yes, so we all had plans to go. No big deal, hanging out with my sisters since there's nothing else to do in this god forsaken town. Well today I'm informed Shannon has come to town, Abbey's cousin. She's going to take them to the game. I wanted to stop and see someone and I asked them to go with me, of course they weren't gonna go because Shannon was in town. I got upset, but whatever. In the long run we all went by to see this person. Anyways Brice meets us at the game, we all sit together. Me and a bunch of high school kids, needless to say I felt old. They started talking about all this drama and stuff, man do I not miss HS at all. I can't imagine what we sounded like when we were in HS. I don't even wanna know.
So Shannon leaves with Kim and Abbey to go see someone, whatever. Me and Brice stay and watch like 10 more minutes of the game then leave. Well we all end up at Whataburger on Rock Prairie, aka the biggest HS hangout ever. So we get there, and I felt so out of place. Like I've never felt that out of place. There were many HS kids in there talking about this and that, and I just felt out of place. So dramatic. Like I never realized how drama filled HS was, until you look at it from an outsiders perspective. If you haven't hung out, or watched a group of HS kids since you've graduated, go do it. It'll remind you what we're not missing out on. Anyways, they were all like 16 and 17 and I'm 20. All of the sudden I felt old.

Extremely old. At 20.

Man, what's my life coming to?

I'm starting to read this book... "Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti." I'm excited.

:)

Love you!

-Kass

Good enough?

So recently I've been in deep thought, shocking I know. :)

So my sister's best friend invited her on a trip, then my sister invited her on her family's trip. Sounds fair right? I think so.

I feel like that's never my case. It almost makes me feel not good enough to be around people's families. This has happened to me several times, and it just makes me think if these people are like ashamed for me to be around their families or what? It upsets me a lot too, because I learn of other people going on trips with these people. It just makes me think..

Maybe I'm thinking too negatively but it's a trend and I hate it. It makes me feel like, well shit. :)

Anyways, there's this new guy... He makes me smile :)

Love you.

Kass

BTHO UGA!

101 in 1001!

Valorie did this and I liked it so I've decided to do it.

So, the mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days. The tasks must be quantifiable, with a clear definition and end. They also have to be a stretch, nothing too easy (like blink 100 times in a day). They have to represent some effort on your part. Do YOU accept?

Start Date: December 24, 2009
End Date: September 20, 2012

Not Yet Started
In Progress
Completed



Travel (0/13) (I'm redoing this because I realized 2.75 years is while I'm still in college aka no money)

1 Go on a mission trip (Spring Break 2010 baby!)

2 Spend a weekend in Dallas

3 Go to Lubbock to see the A&M-Tech Game

4 Find a way to see the UT-A&M game in Austin

5 Go on a mission trip somewhere

6 Go somewhere exciting for spring break (Skiing, beach)

7 Go to South Padre Island

8 Visit Ashley and Katelyn in Galveston

9 See The Nutcracker in Houston

10 Go to Washington DC or NYC

11 Visit Austin in Alabama

12 Roadtrip spontaneously

13 Visit UF again

Job/Education (0/12)
14 Get my Aggie Ring!
15 Get a 4.0 one semester
16 Take the LSAT
17 Take a yoga class
18 Take a foreign language most people wouldn't (Arabic, Italian)
19 Learn a lot of formulas for Microsoft Excel
20 Intern with a professional sports team
21 Play the violin again for at least 2 months (0/2)

22 Dress Business Professional for 4/7 days a week for 2 months straight.

23 Run for an officer position in School or Phi Lamb

24 Apply for graduate school
25 Read a book about US History just for fun.

Health/Wellness (0/20)
26 Lose 50 pounds
27 Go one month without Dr Pepper (Started 1/1/2010, completed 2/1/2010)
28 Eat at home for every meal for an entire month and save the money.
29 Drink only water for one month, different than number 27
30 Train for a half-marathon run it

31 Workout five times a week for six month.
32 Go for a walk 20 times
33 Train for a full marathon and do it.

34 Do 100 sit-ups, 3 times a week, for six weeks
35 Don't tan for 6 months

36 Eat the number of calorie you're supposed to every day for a week
37 Be able to bench press half my body weight
38 Be able to workout for an hour straight
39 Learn to ski/snowboard

40 Play tennis once
41 Learn and play Badminton
42 Play 18 holes of Golf once

43 Go to a party on a boat
44 Jump Rope until you can jump rope 30 minutes straight
45 No candy for a month

Just for me! (0/50)
46 Read Twilight Series (0/4)

47 See all 4 Twilight Movies (0/4)

48 Read the entire bible

49 Keep the same phone for 6 months (this has been completed, because I was in progress of it prior to starting.) I'll probably complete this twice!

50 Go a month without Facebook

51 Only listen to KSBJ for 30 days

52 Don't drink Alcohol for 2 months straight

53 Send something to postsecret.com

54 Wear no make up for an entire week within reason

55 See the Transiberian Orchestra

56 Get a new MacBook Pro

57 Blog every day for 2 months

58 Get my brother and sister birthday presents from now until the end of this thing

59 Develop a better relationship with my mother

60 Cook a 3 course meal
61 Go see 10 movies in 3D (1/10) (1. Avatar)

62 Attend a music festival
63 Attend a women's conference
64 Go to Vegas to clubs and gamble!!
65 Go on a picnic
66 Say yes to all requests for a week (within reason)
67 Take my fake nails off for 2 weeks.

68 Wear earrings every day for a month
69 Welcome back someone from the Military
70 Abstain from all electronics for an entire day
71 Meet someone randomly at an airport/on the plane and become friends

72 Do Big Event from here on out
73 Volunteer at a school
74 Kiss in the rain
75 Plant a tree
76 See 10 movies alone in the theater (1/10)
77 Be completely honest with people for at least a week
78 Watch the sunrise with someone important
79 Spend an entire day barefoot.
80 Sing karaoke.
81 Buy something at a thrift store
82 Volunteer at a homeless shelter

83 Drink coffee for a week, and learn to like it
84 Listen to 30 songs produced before 1990 (Beatles don’t count) (10/30)
85 Spend a holiday Volunteering
86 Watch the sunset
87 Read a new verse in the Bible every day for a month
88 Sit by a window in a café on a busy street and people-watch for a whole day
89 Buy many more pairs of TOMS
90 Buy a pair of cowboy boots
91 Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on freerice.com (1,000/1,000,000)
92 Take pictures in a photobooth
93 Learn to 2 step better

Grown-up things (0/8)
94 Buy a house/condo/pay my own rent

95 Learn how to budget (this is a constant work in progress)

96 Buy more professional clothes
97 Buy nothing but food for three weeks
98 Give away clothes every quarter from your closet
99 Learn how to cook Thanksgiving dinner from start to finish
100 Learn 20 new recipes
101 Donate $150 to a non-profit

This should be fun!!

I hate this.

WHY?!

I'm so ready to pack up and move.

I hate this town.
I hate the people in it.

I just want 2 friends. Real friends. A best friend. That's it. How come that's so much to ask for?

I'm so tired of having no one to tell stuff to, and no one who honestly cares and wants to sit down and talk to me.

I hate this.
I hate crying every day.
I hate change.

Everything is different

You made a way when there was no way
You covered heaviness with garments of praise
You wrote a song and You're singing it over me
I feel a dead heart beating now
This revelation makes me wanta shout (HEY!)
that Jesus has been sent
and everything is different.

Christmas Break has sort of stared, well the minus school break has. But I'm still working a crap ton.

This break has already been different. I don't know how to really explain it, I guess the friendship thing sucks. I just feel like I have no one here to talk to. Catie and I haven't spoken in a week, and Caitlin and I are still meh. It just hurts my heart so much. I guess I just am turning to the Lord but I just feel like I have no one and it sucks. It's Saturday night and I won't be doing anything, except staying home and sleeping. AWESOME, not. I just kind of wish I had a best friend again.

It'll never be the same I guess. I just don't know if I can come to term with that.

Just gonna pray.

Everything is so different in so many ways...

So um I miss that..

I miss having a best friend. I don't have one and it hardcore sucks. Like HARDCORE. Like I'm almost in tears.

I miss having a best friend like woah.

CHRISTmas.

It's that time of year...the Christmas season! I just love this time of year. The hustle and bustle of people at the malls and stores buying presents.

But what's the real meaning of Christmas?

I think Linus can tell you it pretty well:



Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

My new challenge

I want to give a nerdy, loving guy a makeover.

Like teach him how to not be shy, how to dress decent, get a hair cut. Just shape him up. I feel like a lot of guys could use this, in a nice way. I don't mean this in any mean way. It's always been something I've wanted to do.

I might find me a boy in the engineering building next semester and do it.

What do you think? Crazy?

Oh yeah

Lord I wanna yearn. I wanna burn with passion.

I feel like it's the weekend. I'm ready for Sunday to go to church. haha :)

Concert tonight with Ann-Marie, Bradlee and his friend. So pumped.

God did some great thing tonight. Update later.

In His love,

Kass:)

Trust.

Trust is something that's really easy to earn, easy to lose, and hard as hell to earn back. I've learned this.

If we trust God completley we shouldn't worry. Yet here I am worried about if a friendship will fall back into place. The Lord knows, and he has a plan for all this. I guess I'm writing this blog to remind myself of this because I forget every minute of the day of how much I fail to trust in the Lord.

If we trust, we would have no worries for the rest of our days.. (sorry I love The Lion King) It's really not a hard concept

So I tried talking to Caitlin on my sister's facebook and she won't respond. I just don't get this God. But I'm going to trust you with it.

I'm upset and just really hurt, but I'm just gonna trust.

Trust. Trust. Trust.

Maybe it's a good thing..

Have you ever had the chance to start over fresh? I feel like that's what the Lord is teaching me right now. I'm surrounded by new faces, new places and a new start? I guess so.

I don't know how I honestly feel about this. I guess I'm so used to everything old, something new is hard to have. I guess we get into that comfort zone and something new scares us. Sounds like God is showing me where I need to work. On accepting new things and changes.

How many of us have actually gained a new best friend in the last say year? okay how about 6 months? 3 months? It goes down because we get so accustom to the same old grind. This is what God is opening my eyes to. "Kassie, there are other people out there and I want you to see that. I created them all, and you can learn from them." I feel like that's what God is telling me.

This is just what the Lord is showing me in these times of needing to be with Him.

On a side note, I was Facebook stalking (big surprise right) a guy from 4th grade, who I had the biggest crush on back in the day, and he's so grown up! (He moved out of the state and I really haven't seen him in forever) We've all grown up. It's kind of crazy man, we're 20 years old. 2 decades. Have you stopped and let that sink in? 2 DECADES (at least). It's crazy. Anyways, he's so grown up! Man!!!

Life is going good. The Lord is doing great things!

Love you!

Kassie

Well

Catie went home today. She is studying abroad in the Spring and Summer. It was hard. God brought us together this semester in so many amazing ways and because of her I feel like I've grown this semester with the Lord. Especially lately. She challenged me to do something I needed to do, and I did it. It's been the hardest thing ever, but I know it'll end up being the greatest thing in my walk with the Lord.

Catie has opened my eyes to so much about myself and others. She's been so sensitive to me in stuff, and listens and always is positive and tells me what I need to hear even if I don't want to. She kept me accountable, and even when I slipped she always embraced me and took me in and talked things out with me.

We got into fights, and had tears shed. But I feel that all of this made our friendship so real and rich. I feel like I finally know what a healthy friendship is thanks to Catie Colvin. I think this opened my eyes to how fake and not real most friendships are. I guess it taught me what to strive for in picking friends. She's such a great person.

I hopefully will go see her over the break!! :) :) God did such amazing things this semester. I'm going to recap.

Phi Lamb Rush: I was sick for some of it, but it seemed great.

Phi Lamb: I met Catie this semester, had a small group of our own, and had a good covenant group. I was blessed. I'm excited to see where God takes me for Phi Lamb in the future. I went to Date Party with JWo and had a great time! :)

Friends: Ups and downs, but I learned a lot about friendship and how special and precious they are. I gained an amazing friend, and am taking a break from another amazing person, but I trust the Lord in what he's doing.

My walk with Christ: It's getting better. I find myself more aware of how sinful we are as humans. I find myself more aware of how necessary it is to walk with Christ everyday. I think I'm realizing that I need no one on this earth, all I need is Christ. He's opened my eyes to that a lot in the last month. I need to be completely satisfied in Him before I'll be satisfied in any other relationship. I think Catie helped me in this area, and called me out on things. :)

AFTERdark: Was remarkable, and I was so glad to be apart of it. I blogged about it earlier this year. You can click on "AFTERdark" to read my post about how amazing that was.

School: It was difficult but I'm trudging along, not at the pace I'd like to be at, but I'm praying God will give me strength for that.

Family: I think our relationship is getting a lot better, and I attribute that a lot to the christian counseling I've been going to, which I absolutely LOVE. I love it so much!! :) It's been amazing!

Random: I saw Brad this semester, and I don't know how I feel about him right now, but it's something I'm giving to the Lord. I turned 20 this month, and it's been rough so far, but I know the Lord is going to shine in the next year in my life. I'm so excited about what He has in store for friendships, my walk with Him, and my family.

Well that is Fall 2009 summed up briefly...

I pray you have a wonderful break.

Love you guys!

Kass

i will rise.

I recently changed the title of my blog for several reasons..

i will rise.

the i is not capitalized because I'm truly insignificant in this world. i am nothing with out the Lord. nothing.

i will rise above this world. above the earthly things that take me away from my Heavenly Father.

If you really dissect the word/letter "i" it's truly self-explanatory.

In school we were always taught to capitalize I when it stands alone. but really why? Why do we capitalize it?

"i" am nothing important. i do not stand alone. I'm always with the Lord. and only then should i be capitalized. i am merely tiny in comparison to my neighbor and my Lord.

so why do we capitalize "i" when it's alone? Probably because we're self-conscience and can't stand the thought of being alone, but we should remember God is with us always.

next time you go to write "i" think about why you capitalize it, really think about it.

but for now. i will rise.


There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
i can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And i will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
i will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
i will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And i will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
i will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
i will rise

And i hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And i hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

And i will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
i will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
i will rise

i will rise.

I don't think so.

You will not get the best of me.

No one will. And can.

Austin and I talked tonight, man I love that boy. 7 years and counting.

I've been sick all day....ugh. I just wish my head would be gone.

I'm frustrated with so much but I'll explain later.

Going to pass out to get rid of this stupid sickness.

BTHO Finals guys!

<3 You!

Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18


-Kass

This is who I am.

So recently Shane and Shane played in town and I fell in love with their new album. God really spoke to me through this song and I'm gonna explain each part. :)

I am a new creation,
the old is passed away
and I’m made new
I’m made new.

I am a new creation because I have Christ, He has made me new.

And I have been adopted,
the door is opened up
for me to know you
be like you

I'm adopted to be his Child, and he loves me so much and because I know Christ I can have a personal relationship with him.

This is who I am
I’ve been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are

I LOVE this chorus. This is who I am, I am not the person I was because I have been born again. The Cross took my sin and secured my hope and future. My life is in Christ's hands and I stand on his words. Everyday I'm finding that my life is in him, and him only.

When my heart condemns me
tells me I am guilty
Your greater
Your greater


My heart condemns me and I am guilty but he is greater and will forgive me.

Jesus you have searched me,
and even in your finding
You have loved
and You love me

Even when the Lord searches me and finds me unworthy, because we are, he loves me. :)

This is who I am
I’ve been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are

Just a great Chorus again

For He made Him who knew no sin
To be sent
On our behalf was crucified
Oh that we could be the righteousness
Of our creator


He sent his son for me. :)

I am a new creation,
the old is passed away
and I’m made new
I’m made new.


I am made new because of him. How awesome is that?!

:)

-This is Who I am
Shane & Shane

RUNAWAY

It's been a long week, I've got a slow leak in my left front tire.
I'm sick of where I work, my boss is such a jerk, don't care if I get fired.
My backs about to break, no money in the bank, and she don't call me anymore.
I'm down to my last ring, it's time to sell my things,

And pack my bags, and never look back, run a parallel line with the railroad tracks, and make my get away.
I put the pedal to the metal as the sun goes down.
Leave everybody sleepin in this sleepy town tonight, and at the break of day, I'll be a runaway!

A hundred miles in, I got a stupid grin on my scruffy face.
With every cigarette, I'm burning my regrets.
Don't want to leave a trace.
And from the rear-view, I've got clear view of who I used to be.
A little bit faster now, don't wanna turn around.

I'm gonna pack my bags, and never look back.
Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks, and make my get away.
I put the pedal to the metal as the sun goes down.
Leave everybody sleepin in this sleepy town tonight.
And at the break of day, I'll be a runaway! I'll be a runaway!
I'll be a runaway, I'll be a runaway!

It's crazy, I know, to count on this road and give me what I need.
But with every state line, somehow I find, another part of me.
Yeah-e-yeah!

I'm gonna pack my bags, and never look back.
Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks, and make my get away.
I put the pedal to the metal as the sun goes down.
Leave everybody sleepin in this sleepy town tonight, and at the break of day, I'll be a runaway! I'll be a runaway! I'll be a runaway!

You know...

I'm not perfect. No one is perfect, that's why we have the Lord.

I'm definitely not perfect. I'm wellll aware.

For the last 6 months or so I've been going to Christian counseling and it's made a huge impact on my life. I've had slips ups, I'm human that's normal. Am I proud of them no? Do I run from them? No. Mistakes happen. No sin is worse than any other sin in the Lord's eyes. I think we, as Christians, don't believe in this. We think underage drinking is way worse than lying which it isn't. We, myself included, judge people way too much. I'm guilty of this and it happened to me tonight. I became more aware of how we as Christians live.

If you've read my blog you know Caitlin and I aren't friends right now, and to be honest I don't know if we ever will be. It breaks my heart, but every time I try I get shot down I feel like.

Tonight someone who was supposedly my friend was talking so condescending towards me and insensitive it really hurt me. This week has been awful for so many reasons and all this wasn't helping. I felt like Caitlin made me out to be a bad person, which was never my intention.

I have failed the Lord so many times, but I'm thankful that his blood covers all that. I've lied, drank, coveted, disrespected my parents, disobeyed, you name it I've probably done it. But we've all failed the Lord and I just don't think someone can call someone a bad Christian or person for that.

I am trying so hard to live for the Lord better, and it's hard and to be treated like you're worthless and useless hurts. Words are double edged swords and they can hurt if you say them wrong.

I guess I'm finding out who my true friends are and aren't.

I just hate memories because they remind me of the good in people, and that's all I want to see. I hate seeing that bad in people and I always look for good. ALWAYS. But I'm so tired of that, why do I do this?

Why do I still care about someone who obviously doesn't even care about a friendship of like 4 years? Why do I care? Because I trusted her with everything.

It breaks my heart to feel the way I do. It breaks my heart to know how many people act like they care, but they really don't.

I'm tired of this life. So tired of it.

Heyyyy

I'm 20.

I celebrated with friends yesterday

and we're celebrating again tonight.

I'm so lucky.

Love you guys.

:)

Weird.

My birthday is Tuesday and it'll be the first birthday in probably 4 or 5 years that a certain someone and I won't talk. I couldn't haven't picked a better time to take a friendship break...*sigh*

I don't know how I feel about this friendship break we're taking, it's necessary but it's super hard. I hope it starts to get easier but I doubt it.

The reason why I did this? I depended on this person entirely too much instead of God or anyone else. I need to be satisfied in Christ before I can be satisfied in a friendship and so I had to take a break.

I hope that with time we can be friends again, but making a clean break is super hard especially since we have a lot of the same friends.

I love her to death, and I didn't want to do this but it's what it was coming to. I pray that we'll heal and come out stronger, but if not I'm gonna trust in the Lord.

I ask you to pray for us too.

Thanks guy!

Yours and His,
Kassie :)

I forgot.

I think today was something I truly needed, as bad as that sounds.

Thanksgiving, a day to give thanks...for everything.

I have a mom and dad still married, I have a grandma who lives with us, I live at home and it doesn't cost me anything, my grandma has been paying for school, I have siblings, I have amazing friends, and I've experienced a lot in my life that have shaped who I am.

The game came and gone but what happened afterward got me thinking...a lot.

Me and Caitlin went to eat and I invited my friend Aaron, and he came and we started talking. The more I started talking the more I realized that I've experienced a lot in my life that most people haven't ever and would kill to experience. My father being who he is, is a great account to how all that has happened. I've taken a lot of it for granted. Times I've thought my life was "so bad," boy was I wrong. I guess I just thought of most of it as "no big deal." Truly, it is a big deal. I mean I'm so blessed and lucky to live the life I have. Today awakened me to that, and so if I've ever come across cocky or whatever I'm truly sorry. I am going to work on being humble. I guess that's what the Lord is showing me right now. Humility is something we have to have and I am going to work on it. :) Thanks God! :)

Also I briefly shared part of my testimony with Aaron and he told me something along the lines of that's cool you have a testimony like that and you'll be able to share it with people and they'll be able to connect. It's kind of weird to think about. I always thought I didn't have a testimony so it was super encouraging to hear that.

It's nice to see Caitlin for more than an hour this weekend. :) We had fun at the game and it's good to catch up and talk to her just like the good ol' days. It's crazy we're halfway through our sophomore year in college. Who would have thought?

I had an amazing realization tonight of how truly blessed I am and how much I forget it.

I love you guys!

Yours and His,
Kassie :)

Thanks!

Howdy!

Man, it's been a crazy week!

I got a second job at the hottest place in Aggieland, Spoons Yogurt. It's a frozen yogurt self-serve place. We have 12 flavors of yogurt, you put the yogurt you want in a bowl then we have a self-serve toppings bar with like 50 toppings. You pay by the weight, it's a really neat thing to have. :)

I am working A LOT. But at Spoons I see everyone I know so it's kind of a socialization for me too. Haha. God knows I know the world. It's a fun job, it's just we're allllllways busy. Line out the door every day until we close.

Tomorrow is thanksgiving so I'm going to reflect on what I'm thankful for..I'll make it brief I promise. :)

I'm thankful for being healthy, having a loving family, having my parents still alive, having my best friend come home for Thanksgiving, all the food we will eat, clothes, a car, money, 2 jobs and the many blessings in my life. I'm also so thankful for the Lord and how He provides.

What are you thankful for?

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. -Psalm 100:4

We Remember

As I start to gather my thoughts about the last 24 hours I am overwhelmed with emotion. I don't know where to start but however I will try.

I was in 4th grade attending Pebble Creek Elementary. I woke up on the morning of November 18 like any other normal 9 year old would. Thanksgiving was around the corner meaning bonfire was around the corner. I was excited to go with my dad to watch it burn. Why? December 1, 1989 was a night bonfire burned and also was the night I was born. My mother could see Bonfire burning from her hospital room. Thus, bonfire and I had a secret pack. We were tight. :) Anyways, I wake up and go to school and notice the flags are at half-staff. I ask my mom why is this. She was like I don't know, and we turned on the radio and that's where we heard it. I remember the chaos of our town. Our town was distraught and College Station completely stopped that day.

I don't think it was any sort of craziness that 12 Aggies died. I think that was God showing us he was watching over us.

Last night at the ceremony at Reed I was moved. I think we should've had more people there, but the ceremony it's self was fantastic. Then I came home and napped then went the candlelight vigil. It was nice too. A lot of people were there.

The Aggie Spirit is stronger than ever I feel like and I hope it stays that way.


We Remember Them. 11.18.1999 2:42AM.
"There's a spirit can ne'er be told.."

Yeah you are...

I'm so tired of people saying, "you are good enough for someone, someone will be lucky to have you."

UGH.

Why does it seem like I can know everyone, yet have nobody.
Why does it seem like I can be completely surrounded, yet be completely alone and lonely.
Why does it seem like I can't be good enough for anyone these days?

I just hate this feeling. It's like I know everyone but no one wants to hang out with me or truly be my friend.

I know people are like you just need Jesus, but even when I have him I feel like empty and like I have no one and I just can't do that. I just wish people would actually take an interest in me, Kassie, the real me.
I just am sick of fake people, and it seems that's all that goes to A&M. I'm so sick of it. SO SICK.

All the girls around me have guys that will ask them to date parties, and formals and all that crap. I don't. I don't have anyone. NO ONE. I'm lonely and no one takes interest in me.

I'm tired of this.

Yes I'm whining, get over it.

don't post a comment or tell me "things will get better" i'm tired of hearing that bs. I'm tired of the cliche crap.

See what it's like in my life. I could probably name my friend in CS on one hand
I just wanna pack up and move out of this damn town, please?

I'm SO sick of this place, and the people. SO SICK.

Thanks for the call.

This weekend was not what I expected at all. Maybe that's a good thing? But no not really.

Friday I worked until 11AM. Went to the doctor for my stupid ear (I'm so ready to be completely healed from surgery in MARCH...ugh) I go in and he's like yeah we need to cut open part of year to relieve some pressure..."Oh awesome." So he numbs my ear and cuts it open. That night I was in a lot of pain. A LOT.

After that I run errands all day, then surprise at 2:12PM on Friday I get a text message....from Brad. I had to look at it about 20 times to make sure it was really from him. Anyways we text and he was coming to town that night and of course I wanted to see him since it had been forever. Well it won't be til late, which is fine anyways because I have numerous ring dunks anyways. Well I go to two ring dunks with Catie and it was super fun! :) Well I come home about 12:15 to nap until I hear from Brad. So I hear from him about 2:30/3ish in the morning.

We end up meeting up around 3:30...and as he drove up we both had the biggggest smiles on our faces. I didn't let go of him for like an hour. It was amazing. :)

We spend the next like 7 hours together, talking and catching up.....it was amazing. I miss him so much. I don't know where we stand, or anything but he means a lot to me. I was so incredibly happy to see him Friday night! It was the best night ever. :)

Well I sleep pretty much all day Saturday, since I didn't sleep the night before. I woke up about 3:30 to get ready for date party! :) :)

It was 20s themed and it was fun. I had a great group.

I'll post pictures tomorrow or something..maybe.

It was a good time. I went to the hall afterwards with Caitlin but their group wanted to leave pretty early. We went to Taco C ate then I came home and crashed until like 3PM today.

Caitlin left this morning, I didn't see her. She comes home for Thanksgiving, so that will be nice.


I'm about to crash!

2 weeks from Tuesday is my biiirthday!!!

Love you!

Be my Vision

Come meet us, King Jesus
Oh wind of change blow through this temple
Sweet Spirit of God, come and mend our hearts
For all we have are songs
Unless You come

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come

Come free us, King Jesus
It’s the only way that freedom’s given
From You and You alone
In the work You’ve already done
For all we have are songs,
Unless You come

Here we are, Lord
In this place
Crying out for
Your embrace
To hear Your voice
More than songs
Please come
Jesus come

Shane and Shane played this song last night and it stirred my heart. I want Him to be the vision of me until I die. He's the only way to freedom.

Lately the Lord has just been teaching me so much. I'm so full of joy and happiness when I'm consistently walking with the Lord and my life is so different. I'm seeing that I'm only truly happy when I'm walking with him all the time. For the first time in a long time, I'm truly happy. It's not just a show, I'm happy inside. It's such a great feeling. God is so faithful and good and mighty and indescribable and I could go on forever! :)

I'm gonna start typing up my testimony this week and I'll eventually post it. :) I think it's cool to share your testimony with people.

The Lord is faithful.

Happy Friday!
Kassie :)

AHHHH! It's finally the day I've been looking for!!

Hiding?

Hey! How are you?
Great!
Yeah Right.

How often does this exact conversation happen?

For me? Daily.

I could have just cried my eyes out but if someone asks "How are you?" Most of the time I just say "I'm fine."

That's a lie.

Why do we do this? Is it because we are truly shallow and don't honestly care how someone is doing? (I'm calling myself out on this actually)

Sometimes I just need someone to say, no really how are you? Caitlin has done this several times and it's like she cares, well I know she does, but I wish we all cared about everyone like that.

I'm gonna work on this. :)

Love you.

18 HOURS UNTIL I SEE THE BEST FRIEND :D :D :D

I am so blessed.

Mom, why can't I have that outfit, it's only this much money.
Mom, why can't I drive that car.
Mom, why don't we live in Pebble Creek, or Castlegate?

Have you ever asked yourself questions similar to that? Today I've been thinking about what I'm thankful for and blessed to have. I remember growing up, I mean we definitely weren't poor, but we definitely weren't rich either. I dressed nicely, got most of what I wanted, and most importantly: My parents supported me in everything I did.

I was a trainer all through HS and my parents thought that after the first week of spring practice my 8th grade year, which is where we went up to the HS for Spring football practice to see if Athletic Training was what we wanted to do.

Let's back up, I never was a tom boy at all. I started getting my nails done in seventh grade, and loved to dress up. I didn't really own a pair of jeans until like High School, not joking. I was such a girl. Athletic Training is dirty, you are outside in 100 degree plus weather all the time. So my parents thinking that I would quit quickly after wasn't unreasonable. But they didn't tell me that they doubted me until after my like second year in.

Anyways, I completely fell in love with Athletic Training. Freshman year I wasn't officially on Varsity football, and to work the varsity football game you had to get "Freshman Trainer of the Week" which was dumb. Meh. Freshman year wasn't my favorite, but we all have to pay our dues somewhere, right?

But thankfully my freshman year I got put on Girls Soccer for my spring sport. I don't remember how I felt about it at first, but I am so glad I got put on it. It was awesome. I was put with someone, but really it was just me. I did JV and Varsity and traveled etc. I loved it.

Sophomore year rolls around, we get a new Head Trainer and Assistant trainer...They were complete hardasses. That's the only way to describe them. It wasn't what any of us were used to. But it turns out they ended up being awesome.

A lot of people quit, and I was on JV and Varsity my sophomore year and my parents followed me to every away varsity game and supported me through everything. Like it was cool, I wasn't playing but yet they still came to every game and always encouraged me.

Sophomore year they acted like we wouldn't get the sports we liked because they wanted us to gain knowledge in every sport. I was upset I grew to love the Soccer team and really wanted it back, well I did end up getting it back.

Junior year was tough in the beginning but so amazing when I look back on it. I had my wisdom teeth out the week of work week for StuCo back to school and so I couldn't really talk. I'm walking in the hallway doing something, (I remember this distinctively.) Doc Woodall is walking and stops me and says "hey Kassie I have something to tell you." I was like yes ma'am. She was like "We've assigned you to volleyball for the fall." I was excited because my junior year all my good friends were seniors on the volleyball team! I was pumped!

The reality hit me. I was going to have to give up football and do vball. I got super upset. I sat down with my parents and we compared the volleyball schedule to the Varsity football game and guess what? Fridays were the EXACT same as each other. Meaning where vball was fball was too! :) As I look back on it, that was God man. There was just one issue and that was tournaments. I had to miss like 2 games and then one game at Leander, I think was being filmed for the TV show "Friday Night Lights." I told my mom, "Mom I'll be in Pearland but I REALLLLY wanna be at that game." She said, "Okay well we can come to pearland to get you then drive you to Leander. I was like WHOOP. haha. At that moment I realized how much my parents supported me. It was truly remarkable.

Junior year I got put on Softball, which I hated. I mean it wasn't awful but it wasn't amazing either. But my mom and dad came out to a few games. They showed their support always. Most people didn't have this kind of support from their family. It was so awesome to have that.

Junior year is when I was told to apply for Athletic Training at A&M. They I guess wanted me to come be a trainer for them. I thought about it for awhile, but realized at the time I wanted to do Political Science and go become a Politician. So training wasn't on my agenda. My parents supported me in that decision.

Senior year rolls around, and I'm pretty much the most expierenced trainer on the student staff, and I was pumped. Senior semester, graduating in decemeber what could be better? Oh right where is Kassie going to college? If you back up like 6 months I was set on getting the heck out of College Station because I had been here my whole life and I was so sick of being in the shadow of my dad and mom. But let's continue to where we are in the story. God was like "You aren't going anywhere Kass, you are going to A&M." I was like "Oh man, great. I'm going to hate it." Man was I wrong. I, as my mom says "Drank the maroon koolaid." I feel completely in LOVE with Texas A&M University and the people here. :) When I got officially accpeted to A&M my parents were so proud of me. As proud of me as they were when I was born. My mom scanned in my acceptance letter and emailed it out. Haha. :)

I am so BLESSED for loving parents who support me through thick and thin. They are truly always in my corner. They love me and stride to teach me so much. I love them so much.

The song "Butterfly Kisses" was playing earlier and it got me thinking. :)

I'm blessed.
I'm loved.
I'm alive.
I'm thankful.

This was my wonderful Wednesday post.

Love you guys!

Kassie :)

Why do I do this to me?!

I make my self sick sometimes worrying too much. I stress out over nothing, and my best friends have made well aware of this. I don't know why I do it to myself. I mean I know worrying doesn't make anything better. In fact, from my experience it makes things worse, yet I still do it all the time. What the heck, Kassie?

I stress out about nothing, as Brittney put its. I mean I guess she's right but for some odd reason, no matter how hard I try I still stress/worry about stupid things.

I'm going to try so hard to completely trust in the Lord, and then I'll have no reason to worry, right?

So yeah.

I miss my best friend, the one who keeps me accountable. I miss her! I don't know, tonight it just seems like we barely talk, and when we do it's short. I know we both have our own lives, but she's the one person I want to be there through everything. I want her next to me when I get married some day. I just miss the summer when we were together everyyyy day! This summer was amazing, seeing her all the time, and I felt like we were doing really well both focusing on the Lord. She's coming home this weekend along with two of her friends, and I mean I'm excited but I feel like we won't have Kassie-Caitlin time and I feel like I could really use that right now. I don't know I'm just rambling. I love my best friend, and I'm so excited to see her that's for sure.

I've decided I'm just going to be completely honest on my blog, I mean I guess it'll help keep me accountable too ya know.

I'm struggling with some things in my life and I just want to get over them sooo bad.

I'm doing better with alcohol, I mean I've had a slip up in the last month, but recently I went out and I looked around and I was so disgusted with the world and what it's full of. There were girls dressed in like no clothes, and alcohol every where. I was disgusted with what our world accepts these days. I just was like "this used to be me, but thank you Jesus for saving me from that." It just made me happy that I am not in that temptation any more.

I'm struggling with the whole who I am thing. Anddd just making true friendships. Just pray for me for this, I see God working in this area, I just need more wisdom in it.

I'm struggling with self-image. One of my dearest friends tonight told me that every girl does almost all the time. "Why am I not that pretty." "Man she can pull of that look, I wish I could." It's a constant battle, but I'm just trying to give it to the Lord.

I realized something this week, and kind of made my own quote. "To trust in the Lord fully; is to not worry fully."

How true is that. If we trust in the Lord 100% then we shouldn't worry about anything, and here I am worrying about stupid stuff. Something I need to work on.

I feel like in most of lives at this point in the semester we just need rest and to spend time with our God. That's totally what I'm feeling right now. I think tomorrow I'm going to go to both Breakaways and for the first one I'm just going to spend it with the Lord. I think I need that right now.

Love you!

Kassie

1 Peter 5:7
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Half-Marathon?

I was driving today and I was thinking. I'm going through a huge transformation on the inside, why not tranform the outside too!

So I've decided to start training for a half-marathon.

The Big D Marathon/Half-Marathon is April 11, 2010. I could probably do this one if I really wanted to but I think I might just do the 5K then and then in August do the Hottest Half...a half marathon in Dallas.
That gives me a while to train.

I really am going to do this.

:)

My ultimate goal: by my 21st birthday to have completed a half-marathon and be training for a full marathon!!

Temporary Home

I bought Carrie Underwood's CD last night and it's simply phenomenal! I started listening to the album and I came across the song called, "Temporary Home." As I started listening I just began to weep.

There's a story behind the song...Read the lyrics:

Little boy, six years old
A little too used to being alone
Another new mom and dad, another school
Another house that'll never be home

When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face

This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is my temporary home

Mmmmm

A young mom on her own
She needs a little help, got no where to go
She's looking for a job, looking for a way out
'Cause a half-way house will never be a home

At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find our place here in this world

This is our temporary home
It's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know
This is our temporary home

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers, "don't cry for me,
I'll see you all someday"
He looks up and says,
"I can see God's face"

This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passing through
This was just a stop on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know
This was my temporary home

Mmmmm

This is our temporary home


The song's underlying message is that Earth is our temporary home. This song just speaks truth.

New favorite song? I think so.

Love you guys,

Kass

AFTERdark.

Texas A&M has one of the best christian student body's in the country. That's what I've been told by many people. And last night I saw us all come together.

For the last I'd say year or so I had been praying that the Christian organizations at Texas A&M would become unified and reminded of our one purpose, to Glorify and serve the Lord of Lords. How often do we forget that we are ONE christian body and just because one group of us has a different name than the other, we're still his people.

Anyways, 3 years ago an event called AFTERdark came to A&M and I attended, even though I was still in HS. It was incredible and it just opened my eyes to how great our God is.

Well this semester I got an invite to a Facebook group "Texas A&M AFTERdark" I started FREAKING out. I saw God as weird as it sounds, in that invite. I saw the Admin and I sent him a facebook message, little did I know me and him would become friends and he was our director, Adam Martin. He told me to send Laura Browder a message, who I later found out was the brains behind the student involvement. Anyways needless to say I jumped right in. I ended up knowing Laura's partner, I guess, John Sargent. He worked at camp with Amy Westervelt, my old YL leader. It's truly a small world.
Okay so, I went to the AFTERdark, which I will call AD now, meeting on a Sunday night. I jumped right in and got stuff going. Being from here, I knew businesses that could help us with fundraising. I got on a roll with that and started raising money for it. It was awesome.

That was 2 weeks ago, well fast forward to a week ago this past Sunday. This was our big push to hold signs and get the word out BIG TIME! I focused on AD because it was going to change life. We were up til 2-3AM filling spots and talking and stuff. And I was up at 6:30-7 most mornings for work and sign holding. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much.

Monday was our big push, all the shirts were sold, and everyone knew about it, so we hoped. Now we just had to wait. Matt Wertz arrived into town at 11:30, and at 12:30 I was having lunch with him. He's such an amazing guy. It was fun to have lunch with a "famous" person.

I thought time would never pass. But then it all came together. I walked into Reed arena about 7:30PM an hour and a half before AD started.

The stage was set, the lights were set, the production people were meeting, "exec" I guess you would call us, had our seats saved. Everything seemed perfect for the amazing night ahead. Before the doors opened I talked to Jordan Pugh, and Joe White. Both of whom were talking.

I saw it all come together at 9PM when everything started.

Matt played 3 songs then Jordan Pugh came up and gave a short talk. Jordan was great, short and sweet. Then he introduced Joe White, who actually was more introduced by a video of his family. Which was touching. Anyways, he comes up and introduces himself, then starts the drama. He starts off building the Roman Cross that Jesus would die on and is telling the story from the cross builder's perspective. He then uses some videos to show God's love. I don't remember a lot of what he said exactly but I realized how great the Father's love for me was. I sat there crying my eyes out because I was so broken from feeling the Holy Spirit so much. Joe talks about the Father's love and how much we need it, and then he goes on to talk about being a bondservant for the Lord. A bondservant is someone completely sold out for Christ. At the end, some guys hold up the cross and then asks everyone in the room to write down something we need to give to the Lord and bring it to the front to nail it on the cross to symbolize what Christ did for us. In exchange, we received a Gold Chain reminding us that we are chained to Christ and we are his bondservant.

SO MANY people came down, and people gave their life to Christ that night. It was INCREDIBLE. All our hard work paid off I felt like. To see my brothers and sisters give their lives back to Christ was amazing.

Matt Wertz came up and did a concert after everyone went back to their seats, Then eventually everyone left and it was over. Just like that, AD came and went. But as we were typing all the follow ups in the computer, it was cool to see what people made what commitments. People rededicated their lives to be bondservants, and people gave their life to Christ. It was amazing.

I just pray that TAMU was changed and revived and the people that were there would continue to live a life pleasing to the Lord. That's my prayer. I felt like God did amazing things last night and every minute of no sleep, and every hour of holding signs was worth last night.

God is so good. AD was amazing.

Did you go?

I pray that you have a great week.

In His Love,
Kassie

Joe White recited this and it's so true:

just one of those days

I just wanna cry myself to sleep.

Nothing is coming together I feel like for AFTERdark. I wanted something so bad to happen and I just don't think it is, and I've just been praying to God about it and I just don't want the glory for anything I want him to have it but I really wanted this thing to work out and it's not and I'm kind of bummed.

Also, it's been like almost 3 months since i've seen my best friend, I wanna cry. and we barely have time to talk to each other, i just don't know what this means.

I'm going to bed now, I'm holding signs all morning.

love you guys.

“For, "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." And this is the word that was preached to you.”-1 Peter 1:24-25

New found Pet Peeve

When people cancel plans on you less than 24 hours before they were scheduled to happen. Oh and without an explanation.

Seriously?

We talked LAST NIGHT about tomorrow and then today "I actually can't come, sorry." That's all I get? Then I say "have a good weekend ttyl." thinking they would be like well this is why, I'm sorry. NO NOT AT ALL. "You too ttyl." REALLY?! Like I'm not good enough for an explanation?

Like I changed my Friday night plans to accommodate this person so we could hang out and stuff. And we are supposed to hang out Saturday night too, doubt that'll happen. I'm super frustrated and today has just sucked and I want to cry.

I had 3 classes today all of which I had a test in. And the last 2 tests were extremely hard. Like I walked out almost crying.

And then to have this on top of it all? I'm upset and frustrated. Like this person was who I was counting on to go to my friends ring dunk so I don't have to go alone. Really? Now I don't wanna go.

I'm about to just cry myself to sleep (Sounds so emo like, but seriously.)

Ugh.

So please next time you make plans with someone at least explain why you have to cancel, or better yet DON'T CANCEL at all. Like especially if people go out of their way to clear their schedule.

Who is Second?

So the UT vs. OU game is this weekend and in conjunction with that the ministry iamsecond.com Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy did some videos...and they are remarkable men of the Lord.

Colt McCoy, UT's QB and a high contender in the Heisman Race, is an amazing man of the Lord. In his video he talks about success and that the world measures it so differently than than success with Christ. God is first, everything else is second.

What is success? To the world, it involves winning, Heisman Trophies, All Americans, getting paid and making it to the NFL. "For me, I'm successful because I have Jesus Christ living inside of me," says Colt McCoy, starting quarterback for the University of Texas.

Here's the video:



Sam Bradford, winner from last year, is another amazing man of the Lord. He talks about how the Lord has given him his talent and without him he wouldn't be on the football field.

"The minute you start to think that you're first and your plans matter more than God's is the minute your life starts to go the wrong way." Oklahoma University's starting quarterback, Sam Bradford

The video:



The two of them together:

Best Skit Idea

I have the best skit idea for my small group for this weekend.

I'm pretty excited about sharing it with Catie tomorrow then our girls.

Over and out.

Another week.

The weekend went by entirely too fast. It was a great weekend, nonetheless. I mean minus Consol losing, the Ags losing. It was still a good weekend.

Friday: Worked all day, had two appointments, then went with my family to Belton to see the Consol vs. Belton game but what was more important was I met up with Steven after the game. :) It was good to see him, and I'll see him again on Halloween! :)

Saturday: Woke up entirely too early, headed to all the game day activities up on campus. I then met up with my Phi Lamb sisters to go to the game with them! :) It was so fun. The Ags stayed in the game the whole time, then OSU just kind of won. We then all went to Rudy's to eat. Me, being the baller I am, got all of my food for free. I just love the fact that people who work there now still know who I am. word. Then I went home and rested. Then Valorie and I decided to have a girls night out, and it was nothing short of amazing! :) Saw the movie "Love Happens" it was really good. I cried, but I cry in every movie. hehe.

Sunday: Went to church this morning, came home and ate, then slept til like 8:30 tonight. I was so tired.

This weekend was fabulous!

Now onto school this week..bleh!

Love you! :)

Kassie

Oh Hey Friday.

Friday. Payday. Rainday. See Steven day. FABULOUS FRIDAY!! :)

I wake up the sound of rain falling....part of me wants to sleep in all day, but then I remember that today is going to be a GREAT day! :)

First of all, I wake up with money in the bank...whoop. Secondly, I love coming to my job. Thirdly, I am going to Belton tonight to watch the Consol/Belton game and I get to see Steven. Also, tomorrow the Ags are home. WHOOP!

So I want to explain the title of my blog, because it sounds simple but I feel like explaining.

Living: living a life holy and pleasing to the Lord.
Loving: We are called to love, it's our duty as Christians.
Serving: Serving others is part of our duty as Christians as well, it's a way to show love to others.

It's 3 simple things that sometimes we forget we are called to do, so this is just a friendly reminder of our purpose in this world. :)

Apparently Steven says I'm being a butt..haha. he's being a butt too! He's great, and I really hope I see him tonight...if I don't, I'll be pretty upset. Not gonna lie.

Anyways, the rain is nice and makes me wanna go to sleep. haha :)

I love you guys!

Kassie

“It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.”- Deuteronomy 13:4

Heart of Worship

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You,
It's all about You, Jesus


This is the cry of my heart for this week.

Mediocre Monday.

So today was just a mediocre Monday. Class was bleh today, I hate history. The weather matched my mood. I was just meh today.

I met my Covenant group tonight and I think we all bonded tonight. We shared our testimonies and we all share something I Feel like. God's so good.

Do you ever feel like people just don't understand how much you love them and look up to them and cherish them as a friend? That's how I feel a lot of the time. Everyone in my life, they mean so much to me and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.

I'm so excited about Friday night. <3

Just gonna pray!

Love you guys!

Kassie

"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:4

3:30AM

I've been awake entirely too long.

Tonight was a good night. After work I went and got my nails done, yay. Went home and got ready, then went to the Consol-Bryan Game at Kyle Field.

The game was a good game, back and forth the whole time. Lots of turnovers, and stupid plays. But in the end Consol won, for the 5th year in a row, 43-33. WHOOP!!! :)

In the process I had been emailing the election commissioner about some things, and he really made me upset. I am livid about a situation but it's a long long story. He basically told me I won't get my point across, and won't change things. He's wrong, I'm stubborn, loud and will get my way. I've already started and have people on my side. It'll be an interesting week, to say the least.

I'm finally free of tests/quizzes/speeches this week. I just have to research and write my Informative Speech, over the BCS and how the teams are ranked, and how they decide who goes to the national championship. I'm excited. I wrote about it all summer in my English class and did really well. whoop!

I am going to the Cowboys Stadium in a few short hours....I'M SO FREAKIN' STOKED. OMG!! AHHH!! :)

Some rambling thoughts of mine..

I feel like sometimes I care too much about things. I don't know, I just hate making people upset or being on bad terms with people.

I'm just trying so hard to stay positive, but sometimes I feel like I'm doing it alone. But I know God's on my side, I just have to trust.

I can do this. I know I can.

New Things!

Who doesn't like the smell and look of something brand new? One of my favorite smells in the whole wide world...New Car Smell. There's just something about it that I love. This weekend I'll get to experience something new....the New Cowboys Stadium.

With Christ we get a new day each day we are alive, and we should use that for His glory and His name. God is teaching me so much lately and it's amazing.

I'm so excited about going to Dallas this weekend! :) I see Steven in a week, I'm super excited, I haven't seen him in foreverr! :) I already asked him to Date party...I'm stoked! He's a great guy! :) Also he's coming to the last 3 home games with me? I think...yeah 3. I'm so excited :)

Anyways I gotta read some!

Love you! :)

Change.

I love change. Change of the seasons, change of what a store carries, change of friends, change of scenery. Okay you catch my drift. Well this caused me to change my blog, yet again. I just love changing things. I feel like it has a more "fall" attitude to it. I kind of like it, thoughts?

Last night I saw an aswer to prayers.

Let's back up to summer 2009. I introduced my best friend to one of my friends, and they hit it off. I was excited because both loved the Lord and were amazing. Well fast foward to the end of the summer, he kind of just got scared and told her he needed space. It is not october and they have barely spoken. And he had been avoiding me at all costs. Well we were on facebook yesterday and began having a conversation that I had prayed would happen. I asked him if he was dating this girl that I always see him with and he said yes and no and explained that it would be official this weekend. I got hurt because he never really tied up lose ends with me and my best friend. The situation was handled very immaturly by him, we think. Anyways, the news kind of hurt me for my best friends sake because she still likes him. Anyways, we started talking and I told him that it hurt me that we really haven't been friends since school started. I've done my part and tried and stuff but he just didn't have an interest and I was hurt. So last night I just tell him straight up how I feel. And I told him it would've been nice for you to tell us yourself about your plans to date this girl and he was like why do I need y'alls permission. I told him it wasn't that, it was the fact the situation from the summer wasn't cleared up. He was like I honestly thought it was. I told him if you were still avoiding me, it obviously wasn't cleared up. He agreed. We came to the decision to meet up and just talk next week because I want to be his friend, the girl he's going to date is in Phi Lamb with me so I will be seeing him at social events etc. I just don't like being at odds with someone I once cared about and have so many memories with. Caitlin agreed that we did need to talk. She's so great, and I'm so glad that since she's moved our friendship is still strong. But I had been praying for me and Michael to resolve our issues and it finally started last night, and it was something that I was so excited for. God is so good and faithful. :) So continue praying for me, Michael and Caitlin's situation because I know I would like to be friends with him again and be able to have someone I can count on.
Y'all are the best!!

On another note, I love that at Breakaway we are going through the book of James. It's such a good book and I'm learning a lot. Ben Stuart is amaziiing.

I can't believe October is like here, this semester is flying by!!

I have only 2 more months of being a teenager! WHOOP! :)

I love you guys!

Kassie

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,”-Philippians 1:9-10

Woah.

Wow.

Thursday nigh a girl I met earlier this year at a convention was struck by a car in downtown Austin and was killed. Brianna Becker was one of the brightest people you've ever met. Smart, and loved the Lord so much!

Just pray for her family, her bf, and everyone who knew this amazing woman of the Lord.

Love you!

Kassie

The greatness of our God!

God is so faithful and so amazing.

As some of you know, I applied to be a small group leader, which means I would meet with pledges after their pledge meeting and just hang out, pour into them, and encourage them. Basically shower them with the love of Christ. :) I got small group leader, and I can't tell you how excited I was to read the email letting me know I was a small group leader. Encouragement, I feel, is my spiritual gift, and I can put it to good use. I was so excited.
So yesterday we had our small group leaders meeting at the coordinators house, and hung out and received our pledge survey packet of the girls who would be in our group. I got super excited because I had 6 diverse girls, and that to me is just amazing. So the afternoon rolls by...I leave my phone somewhere in the house, and go to pick it up and I had a missed call and voicemail from Megan, our small groups coordinator. I was kind of nervous because I had no idea what she was going to say. As she started talking on the voicemail she was telling me how she forgot a girl, and therefore this girl had no girls...my heart sank because my first thought was "Oh no, she's taking this away from me, I'm not going to be a leader." But that wasn't the case. I could hear her stress level in her voicemail because she just felt so bad for leaving out this other girl. She began to tell me that the girl she left out was going to be a leader with me so we would share the duties of small group leader. I wasn't too excited, because I was looking forward to doing this alone, etc. Well then she tells me who my partner will be, Catie Colvin. Let's back up a little bit. Catie and I, remet, during rush week and we're just alike. I love her to death. We've been developing a great friendship and she's just a great girl. So through all this God was in it. It was on purpose Megan had forgotten Catie because God wanted us to build a stronger friendship by loving on other girls. I could've been really upset, but I looked at the situation and realized God's hand is so mighty and his ways are so perfect. I called Megan back last night and told her this and she sounded relieved because Phi Lamb is so large we don't all personally know each other, and for me and Catie to know each other and have a friendship I think Megan was relieved. God worked this all out in the end. I'm so excited about this semester and what God is going to do in me and Catie's friendship and what he's going to do with us for the 6 girls in our group.

This story just attests to how great the God we serve is. I'm learning to trust in Him and lean on Him, not myself. It's hard sometimes, but then he gives me situations like this one and I'm reminded again of his Sovereignty.

"The Lord is faithful to all his promises, and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."-Psalm 145:13-14

I am Second and God is definitely first. -Bailee Madison, in her I am Second video. (She's 9 btw)

I serve an amazing, faithful, and loving God!

love you,

Kassie :)

I never Blog..

Anymore.

I'm so busy! I went to the game this weekend in my t-shirt dress..I thought it was cute. meh.

We won, and looked like crap!

Tomorrow is my first small group meeting and I found out tonight that I'm with Catie Colvin!! I'm so freakin' excited. God's so good!!

I made cupcakes and the girls first name letter initial painted with stripes with their fave color! :)

I'm reading mylifeisaverage.com and laughing so hard...

here's one or two or a few..

Today, at lunch, they were serving chinese food with fortune cookies. My fortune said that I should expand my horizons. Thinking that was a silly fortune, I went back for another. It read "second tries will prove fruitless." Well done, Cookie. MLIA.

Today, at work at a Starbucks, I had just made two coffees, one for Jacob and one for John. Even though it's policy to call out which ever one was ordered first, I switched them and called out, "John, Jacob". To my excitement, another customer finished with "Jingleheimer-Scmidt". MLIA

No matter how much I love MLIA, I sometimes have trouble believing the stories because they are all about Harry Potter or light sabers. This morning, though, I walked up to my school at 6:45 AM to see a huge circle of students around two boys who were having a light saber duel. I take it back MLIA, you are legit. MLIA.

peace, and love.

Inspired

I was just inspired by a 9 year-old. 9!

Watch this video:

http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Bailee_Madison/

Does that not make you think wow, I am over twice her age and I do not think like her.

She inspires me..wow.

God is definitely going to use her!

You alone Can Rescue

You alone can rescue, You alone can save

You alone can lift us from the grave

You came down to find us, led us out of death

To You alone belongs the highest praise

We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes

You’re the Giver of Life

We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes

You’re the Giver of Life

How true is this about our God? He's the only one who can rescue us from this dark Earth we live in. To him ALONE belongs the highest praise.

Last night at Breakaway Ben Stuart, breakawayministries.org, talked about something that really hit home. TRIALS.

The verses for last night come from the book of James, which I think we will be studying all semester and I'm so excited. James is written full of passion, and when Ben Stuart talks he talks full of passion. It's like you can hear James in Ben. Reagan brought this up today and I totally agree.

James 1:12-17

12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Wow. Let's see. Chapter one of James is about trials that are envitable. During a trial, or opression options will be presented. Some good, some bad. We hold the key to what we do. One example Ben used was roommate drama. Maybe you don't like the way your roommate comes in loud, or doesn't talk to you on campus when they see you. Or maybe they are just plain dumb. Well when this happens many options are presented you can, rolll your eyes, punch them, cuss at them, talk behind their back, or many more options. You catch the drift. Maybe you've had a hard week and one option to unwind is alcohol.
That's where God got me.
This is my option and the option is usually go towards. It's definitely not the best choice, but something I did rely heavily on. Alcohol is such a huge temptation in my life. Of course some of us chose to blame God. But it is clear in verse 13 that we shouldn't say God is tempting me because that is just not true. God will test us, but not tempt us. BIG DIFFERENCE. Temptations comes from ourselves, according to verse 14. The choice is within us whether we give in to the temptation or not. Desires are what causes sin and pain into life. For example, the South Carolina Governor didn't think of what his wife's face would be after he got caught having an affair. His evil desires caused pain into his wife and children's life.
Before we engage in the activitiy, think about where it will lead. Look up and see the big picture. Every GOOD thing is from above, that's clear in verse 17. Verse 18 points to how good God is. He brought us into being, how great is that.
This sermon last night really hit me hard. Trial come and temptation comes but if I am so lost in God I will be able to withstand these trials and chose the right option. Now, I'm not gonna all of the sudden be cured from my thoughts of needing alcohol, but I am slowly getting over it. Everytime I start thinking negatively, or not in a good way I start praying. I feel like I am in constant pursuel of Christ and it's a great feeling.

Did I mention, I'm a small group leader for Phi Lamb? I'm SO SO SO SO EXCITED! I'm excited to pour into girls who love the Lord. I'm excited for how God's going to use me.

God is doing great things in my life and I'm so excited. I love being lost in him. It's so great!

I love you guys!

Kassie

God is faithful!

Today, well, yesterday technically but anyways, it wasn't as hard for me as I thought it would be. Every time I started thinking about Ed too much, or getting negative I just started praying. God is so good. SO GOOD.

Today I was at peace with it for the most part. I gave my speech in, you guessed it, speech class today and it was our self-introductions. I was so freakin' nervous. UGH. I'm usually not nervous, I can talk to anyone...and then I was shaking! UGH! I'm gonna pray for that to go away in the future :)

I have a quiz tomorrow and I'm going to the doctor....yay? Well yay to the doctor to get some medicines to clear up my ear/sinuses!!

I got my One Nation Under God DVD today...about to go watch it. WHOOP.

onenationmovie.com

bewareofchristians.com

check it.

Love you!

Kassie

3. whole. years.

3 years have come and gone. Ed King is watching over us today!

Today will be emotional on so many levels. I ask that you pray for me, and all those who knew Ed. He was truly special and touched so many people's lives. I ask you pray for his family as they deal with this date. God is faithful and will sustain us!

For those who don't know the story I will post my essay about Ed.

Side note: I grew up next to Ed for most of my life, our families were pretty good friends and his little brother and my sister are like best friends. :)

My essay...

Life After Death

Silence. Shock. Disbelief. Tears. Maroon and white. Then abruptly, red and blue flashing lights. Sirens. Those were the sights and sounds of September 15, 2006, at Tigerland Stadium. I became an entirely different person on that unforgettable night.

The biggest game in Texas high school football was being played between the A&M Consolidated High School Tigers and the Austin Westlake Chaparrals on September 15th. Both teams were state-ranked in the top ten, and both were considered football powerhouses in the state. The first quarter went extremely well; we scored first. Then Westlake scored, which made it 7-7 at the end of the first quarter. Regrettably, fourteen points are all that would ever be scored in that match-up. The clock stopped with 10 minutes and 25 seconds left in the second quarter. Matt Nader, an offensive lineman from Westlake, ran off the field after a play and collapsed. I stood in awe, and the stands fell silent when after a few minutes, Matt did not get up. By this time both teams were on the field huddling with each other, praying for Matt’s health. No one knew what was happening. As an athletic trainer, I wanted to know what was going on as well and what they were doing to him. I could not find out because all the medical staff was on their sideline. Word got around that an Automated External Defibrillator saved his life. Once the paramedics got Matt’s heart beating again, he was taken to a local hospital where parents from both schools went to offer their prayers. Once the ambulance left, superintendents and head coaches from both schools met at midfield and decided to cancel the game. I thought to myself, “Ok, that is nice of them; I get to go home early.” Unfortunately, that was not the case; in fact the worst was yet to come.

One of my friends in the stands motioned for me to go toward her. Of course I went, figuring she was asking me about Matt’s condition. The conversation that followed is still vivid in my mind:

“Kassie, did you hear about Ed?”

“No, what about him?”

“He died earlier today in a car wreck on Highway 6.”

“I’ve had enough bad news today; stop joking.” I said with dismay.

“No really, he died; it’s been going around the stands.” She assured me it was true.

I fell silent as Jackie asked me if I was going to be okay. I stood in front of her with consternation. I did not want to believe that my neighbor, my good friend, and one of the guys I helped out during football season was dead. Looking over to the field house, I saw the boys in a huddle and our head coach, Coach Slaughter, talking to them, giving them the terrible news. Heading toward the field house, I saw my best friend’s mom. I questioned the news and asked her why this would happen. She consoled me and reassured me that everything happens for a reason. I was astonished because I never thought something like this, losing a beloved friend and student, would happen to me or to our community. A precious life was taken from a loving family, a loving team, and loving friends. Everyone that knew Ed adored him and loved him. He was a hard-worker and dedicated to everything he did. Ed was the type of guy who befriended everyone. Ed showed new students around school for the counselor’s office. Ed welcomed them into Consol with his friendly smile and laid-back attitude. Hard-working is often used to describe Ed, because that is exactly what he was. Everything Ed did, he did with a smile and his whole heart. Ed was just an overall great guy.

When I found my mom, I started hugging her and told her that I could not believe this was happening. I said I had to go see Mr. and Mrs. King, to offer my condolences. After I hugged my best friend, her mom, and some of the football players, I went with my family to the King’s home. I gave Mr. King a huge hug, and I saw the face of a strong man. He did not shed a tear, but instead he acted as Mrs. King’s rock and foundation. After giving him a hug, I went to Mrs. King’s room. She was distraught and disoriented. She knew who I was, but I could tell she still did not believe that her son had died. The house filled up with people coming over to give their condolences, and I was touched by the fact that so many people went to see Ed’s family.

This outpouring of love to the Kings made me realize how precious life is and that many people take it for granted. No longer did I want to take my life for granted, but Ed’s death taught me to live it to the fullest. The moment I found out Ed died, a feeling rushed over me of how precious life is. I wanted to take my time on Earth as a gift and understand that tomorrow is not promised. Ed’s death showed me how I need to live out my life. The events of September 15, 2006, changed who I was and made me who I am today.

See you soon Ed

12/22/1987-09/15/2006

May the King rest in Peace.

#64 Forever in our Hearts!

LOVE YOU SO MUCH KINGS!!!

Wow.

http://web.mac.com/rcf9327/Site/Lanas_Journal/Lanas_Journal.html

Here's an exert Ben Stuart used tonight:

I recently read a quote from Joni Eareckson in my Bible study that said:If I could, I would take this wheelchair to heaven with me. Standing next to my Savior, Jesus Christ, I would say, “Lord, do you see this wheelchair? Well, before you send it to hell, I want to tell you something about it. You were right when you said that in this world we would have trouble. There’s a lot of trouble being a quadriplegic. But you know what? The weaker I was in that thing, the harder I leaned on you, and the harder I leaned on you, the stronger I discovered you to be. Thank you for the bruising blessing it was, this severe mercy. Thank you.”

WOW!!! What if we all began to view our suffering, be it physical, emotional, relational…as a Bruising Blessing, a Severe Mercy - our scars, wheelchairs, bald heads…all reminding us of God’s sovereignty?!?! Yes, when we live our lives in complete submission to our creator we can look at each and every scar as a Sovereign, Sanctifying Scar. A scar that, because of God’s complete sovereignty and his ability and desire to rid us of our sin, helps to lead us into the enjoyment of having a right relationship with God. There in lies the true blessing of being bruised. Each blessing is found amidst the deep, indescribable relationship that develops between you and God as you trust in him. Lean on him and he will turn your “Valley of Baca” into a place of springs!

The journals of a woman, who loves the Lord, who died at age like 24 I believe. This is her story.

It's amazing.

God used her in some great ways.

I ask you pray for the Fisher's as they are dealing with the loss of their daughter and wife this week.

Love you

Kassie