Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Lord is forever!

For those who know me, know I do NOT like children, at all. Like I despise them. Well lately I feel like the Lord's showing me more and more of his will for me and children are apart of it. Like tonight at dinner with Caitlin's family her niece was there and I was like playing peek-a-boo with her. It felt natural. I feel like the Lord is breaking me in my weaknesses to make them my strong points. Kids for some reason love me, I just never loved them, well I guess change is happening. It's so awesome to see the Lord working in this area of my life. :)

I've decided I have three goals in life, and yes they are a little stolen from someone, but they are so true and good. I want to be a faithful wife, a loving mother and a servant of the Lord most of all. :)

Relationships, I feel like I'm getting better with being a better friend and not getting angry. I'm working so hard because I want it to be a friendship built on the Lord. :) God's working in both of our lives and it's so awesome. The Lord is doing great things and I can't wait to see what he's going to do in our lives in the fall! I know he has great things ahead for the two of us.

Boys, boys, boys. I know I need to surrender this to the Lord, it's just so hard. SO pray for me for that:) The next relationship I have has to be built on the Lord because without the Lord it fails. I'm learning that. The Lord makes things good. :)

God is great, and I'm so blessed. I love it.:)

Kassie

5 things:

the smell of rain. thunderstorms. snow in south texas. college. yelling at the tv.


"But if a wicked man turns away from all the sins he has committed and keeps all my decrees and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die. None of the offenses he has committed will be remembered against him. Because of the righteous things he has done, he will live." Ezekiel 18:21-22

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thoughts!

As I’ve grown, I’ve learned several things. Life is full of disappointments and people you trusted will sooner or later let you down. I’ve learned that often those you love will love someone else and there's only one way to fall- fast and hard. I’ve learned that out of thousands of smiles, it takes one to touch your heart. I’ve learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye and tears often come without invitation. I’ve learned crying can make us stronger and there is never too much love to go around. I’ve found that every time you give someone a piece of your heart, it's a piece that you will never get back. I’ve learned the past is meant to be put behind us and we can't dwell on regrets, for what is done is done. I’ve learned that trusting yourself is the first step and that forgiving is remembering that helps your own heart more than theirs. I’ve learned some things aren't meant to be understood and only time heals. I’ve found that imagination is our greatest gift and that we are meant to dream for a reason. I’ve learned it is never too late to fall in love and that being 'beautiful' is all on the inside.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Tied together with a Smile

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, 'cause I know you

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
'Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Oh, 'cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fresh Start, Please!

Do you ever just feel like you need to pack up a few things and just move somewhere where no one knows you, and start over fresh? That's what I'm feeling right now. I'm ready to just move some where far away and start over fresh. New friends, new life, period.

I'm so sick of drama and fighting and tears. It's like you'd think we were still in HS. I'm so sick of it. I'm on the brink of tears right now. I hate being lied to, and losing trust in people but it happens. I feel like I can't trust anyone right now and that breaks my heart. What happened to the days where we trusted everyone?! I know one thing is for sure I can trust my Heavenly Father even when the world walks out on me. I'm learning he's the only one I can count on. I can't even count on my best friends these days, and that sucks.

I'm just frustrated with so much right now. Do you ever want something to work so bad you'd do anything for it to work? I guess that's how I am right now but a part of me says it's time to quit. This relationship stresses me out and I feel like I give so much and get so little. Yes, it's all about giving but for once can it not be all my fault? I'm selfish, and inconsiderate apparently. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of being lied to and left in the dust. I'm FED UP WITH IT.

I feel like I overreact a lot, but sometimes I feel like I give so much and get so little. I'm just tired of feeling this way. It's not just one person, it's everyone.

I just want to be good enough for one person, and worthy of one person to love me on this earth. I know we aren't here for the world, but it'd be nice to have someone to love you.

Anyways, Have a good night.

Kass

Just another day...

It's already WEDNESDAY! Where did the week go? Summer is flying by! I'm about to start my 4th semester in college..I can NOT believe it!!

I'm so ready for football season, Phi Lamb and everything else to start back up! Can't believe how fast summer 2009 has gone by.

I plan on getting good grades this year, I mean I did make an "A" in my English class this summer! WHOOP! :)

Do you ever feel like God's just talking to you but you don't listen? I've felt like that this week. I'm coming to the realization that God's just trying to show me how much He loves me by using my Parents. I know they want the best for me, but it's like sometimes they are just all in my life and won't let me live it, ya know?

Part of me is worried about the fall because I'm gonna have a lot on my plate, but at the same time I'm driven right now. I want nothing more than to make a 4.0 and accomplish great things. I'm so ready to officially get into my major of choice. I'm so ready to get my Aggie ring and graduate. I'm SO READY!! Yes, I am indeed only a sophomore, but I feel like college is dragging on, but some days flying by. I'm going to be 20 in 4 and a half months, that's crazy. No long a teenager. A year and 4 months? I'll be 21, that's weird. I can't believe it. A girl I've known since 7th grade is getting married in Septemeber, I can't believe that. Where is time going? Slow or Fast? I really can't make up my mind.

I don't think I'll be getting out of CS this summer at all, first summer in a long time. But part of me is glad, I mean deep deep deep down I love this town. But on the surface I'm pretty sick of it. Living at home for the next year will be interesting, although I know it'll help me do better in school.

I'm really excited about Breakaway and Phi Lamb. I really hope I get into a good cove group, heck I might be a cove group leader. I haven't decided. But I'm so excited about fellowshipping with those girls. I know the Lord has some great plans ahead.

These are just my ramblings for the day. I'm at work, getting off at 5. I love my job, it's so laid-back and I love it. :)

Caitlin won't be here this weekend, so I'll probably clean out my apartment and get all my stuff back home. Aaron Watson is in town this weekend, and while I want to go, I don't feel like spending 15 bucks on a ticket.. So I'll probably just catch up on sleep.

These are my thoughts, simple yet so complex.

I hope you are having a great week!:)

5 things to be Happy About Today:
1. chewing gum
2. someone paying for your lunch out of the blue
3. getting an unexpected phone call
4. the sound of a crying baby
5. the quietness that happens on Christmas Eve

<3

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Wow..

Where is summer going?!!

It's July 19th..!! Summer is like almost over. I can't believe it. School is starting soon, and all that, it's crazy!!

I'm looking forward to just the hustle and bustle of the fall...so excited about that. Also, Phi Lamb starts too! YAY! :) As does SGA stuff. I'm just excited. :)

I'm still up because my family comes home in an hour from Disney! I'm so excited!! I'm ready to not be lonely in the house haha.

Gonna try and work 40 hours next week..:D

Next weekend is Aaron Watson...idk if I'm going..we'll see!!

Okay welllllll I'm gonna go take care of things!

:D

Kass

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

SO FRUSTRATED


I don't feel great...awesome not.

Blargh!

going to bed soon.

love you!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

2 years and 10 months.

It hit me. Like I wasn't even thinking about it and I saw the date and just started crying.

I feel like it's not getting easier. I pray about it but I just can't believe it'll be 3 years in September. Where is the time flying?!!

Hey Ed!!! I hope Heaven is treating you well. I miss you and think of you often. I look forward to seeing you again soon!! Chris, Kimmie and Abbey will be SOPHOMORES. They will be driving soon! Scary huh?!! I hope your family is doing well, I hope they come to Texas soon!! I thank the Lord that I knew you. You were an amazing influence to our world! I'll see you soon. Love you!

I feel like I've been more emotional with this than usual. I guess I'm learning every day how precious life is.

God is so good!!

Kassie :)

Love?

Love is such a powerful word. So powerful. What does it really mean though?

I looked it up at www.dictionary.com and got like 30 definitions.

The first two:
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend.

Woah, woah woah. Instantly this shows how that word "LOVE" can be taken as so many things. I love you. I love ice cream. Okay so we know that by common sense they aren't the same kind of love. But the word LOVE is thrown around so much. I'm not gonna lie I use it a lot. But what is love?
I think the Lord makes it SO SO clear in the bible as to what love is:
"This how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16

To me, this means that love is something you would die for. For instance, I would die for my family and to me that's love. I wouldn't die for ice cream, (sorry Bluebell I don't love you that much). But I'd give my life to my friend's in a heartbeat. I know where I'm going when I die :)

But there are three different types of love: eros, philia and agape.

Eros love is where the word erotic comes from. It's sexual love.
Philia is where Philadelphia comes from meaning brotherly love, or best friend love.
Agape love is the kind of love that is selfless. In the greek translation of the bible it says that...
"The entire law is summed up in one command: Love (agape) your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:14 Meaning selfless, unconditional love. Love that God would send his only son to die for us.

So why do we throw the word LOVE around so much? I think the word LIKE needs to be used more. Because we LIKE ice cream, we LOVE God. HUGE difference.

Love should be selfless and not eros. The bible clearly uses AGAPE love. Agape is unshakeable, because no actions, words or anything can destroy it because it is SELFLESS. Eros and Philia are great, but as soon as something bad happens it can disappear. In a marriage eros and philia will survive well ONLY if the relationship is built on Agape!
Agape love is the love that we have to pursue and act like. Agape nourshies and helps the other 2 forms of love to survive in a healthy relationship. But love purely built around eros or philia isn't true love.

I mean I love my friends to death, but in a Christlike way. I would die for them and do anything for them. I do LOVE them. But do I love Dr. Pepper? My iPhone? No, I simply enjoy them and like them a lot.

So next time you use the word LOVE, think about how you are using it.

Just my thoughts.

:)

Kassie

JUST FOR CAITLIN!!

5 THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT TODAY! :)

the movie being better than the book. the book being better than the movie. feeling productive. being lazy. going out of the country

AHHH!

bleh.

Life.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Do you ever wonder?

Why do we worry? Is it because we care? Why do we spend time worrying about things we usually can't control?

I worry entirely too much and it causes me to break down like I am now.

I'm scared of the fall. What happens when she goes back to school? What happens when I start getting back into my normal routine? What happens to the friendship we've worked on all summer? I mean I just am so scared of falling away from someone I love and care about. Sounds ridiculous probably but it's all I've been thinking about lately. I feel like I have no one but her and when school starts I feel like I'll have NO ONE. I mean I just need to find some good Christian girls to hang out with during the school year that will bring me up and not tear me down. I just don't know what's going to happen. I feel like sometimes we're growing together then other times falling apart. I feel like when she goes back to school she hangs out with those people and I just don't know what to do. I don't feel apart of it. I just worry about the future with the people who are in my life now. I just take it for granted so much, and I am so grateful for the people in my life but I know I need to develop and grow relationships but sometimes I'm scared because they might disappear.

Another thing I worry about is living my life. I just want to make my parents proud of me and excited about things I do. My biggest fear in life is being a failure. I just wanna live a life pleasing to the Lord and my parents. I just want to live my life right and down the right path. I'm learning to not satisfy myself in things of this world, but in things above. All joy comes from the Lord. In Him I am whole, in nothing else. I forget that so much. I worry about things so much but if I just learn to trust in the Lord everything will fall into place. I forget I am a daughter of the King and that he loves me so much. I forget this so often. He's blessed me with so much and I fail to thank him for that by living my life for him.

"In your presence God I'm completely satisfied. For you I sing, I dance. I rejoice in this divine romance."

"A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work." John Lubbock
I'm learning this quote is so true. If we use the effort and time that we worry and put it towards trusting in the Lord I feel like life would be so much better.


"Oh no you never let go. In every high and every low. Oh no you never let go. Lord you NEVER let go of me."

How awesome to know that in your lowest of times the Lord is there. And he is to be praised and glorified in not only the mountain top highs but in those major lows in our lives. We turn to him in the darkest times of our life, but what about the good times? I forget to thank the Lord for the good things in my life. I take them for granted. The Lord NEVER lets us go and it's so great to know.

The Lord is great, and I just am working on trusting, loving and living in the right way.

Lord, I pray for the relationships in my life that you will be in them and glorified with them. I pray for the future, Lord, with Caitlin moving back to school that you will continue growing our friendship. God, I need to learn to trust you more and depend on you and not this world. God you NEVER let go of me, you love me so much and I take that for granted so much. I love you so much and I know I don't live my life amazing all the time, but I know that without you I am nothing. I am dust. God you are so good, you put amazing people in my life and for that I am so thankful. But I pray that in the fall you will help me develop some relationships with some girls here that are loving and full of you God. I pray for the opportunities to seek these girls out Lord and get to know them. I pray for this dark and hurting world, that you will use us to show the light. God, you are sovereign and mighty to save and I pray for that for our country. I pray that you will just be prevalent in our lives God. Sin has lost it's power God, you rose victoriously to save us from that. I am so thankful. You are awesome God. I pray that you'll use me more and help me to trust in you more. I love you and am so thankful for your love that you pour over me. I pray all these things in your Sons most Holy and Precious name, Amen.

I love you.

Kass

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to

save. He will take great delight in you, he will

quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you

with singing!" Zephaniah 3:17

Saturday, July 11, 2009

16 and preggo?

I've been watching this show and it makes me realize SO much. I'm so blessed and have a great life!

These girls are 16 and pregnant and trying to make all this work and it just makes me realize so much. I don't wanna ever go through what these girls go through. I do NOT want to put my parents through that, or my best friends, or shout MYSELF through that stressful hell.

This one girl had everything, cheer, friends, everything. She gets preggo and people naturally judge her. I couldn't handle this.

So sad.

Just my ramblings.

Pray

Please pray for one of my friends. It has to do with a pregnancy...Just pray the Lord's desire for them will be done.

Love you guys!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Well Hello there

How are you doing today?

Have you been outside today? Have you seen God's glory? It's around us everywhere! God is so goood!

My family leaves Friday for Florida as does Caitlin for Angelo. I'm not too thrilled to be alone for like 3 days. Blargh! I'll have Muffie and Buddy though. haha.

Lately, I've been running into tons of people from HS and it just bothers me how down hill their lives are. I wanna be like WHY ARE YOU THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY, STUPID?!! But I'm just gonna pray for them.

I wanna dye my hair a reddish tone, I know crazy right. Haha. :)

I haven't talked to Brad in awhile but I don't know, It's in God's hands, if it's gonna happen it will. But I did meet this other guy... and we've been talking a lot...He lives in ATX though..We shall see!

I start TEEX tomorrow! YAY!! So i'm gonna go to bed!

Love you!

Kassie

5 Things:

laughing at something that happened yesterday. girls night outs. a night with the guys. popcorn. airports

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Been awhile!

I've been too busy to update..so here goes!

Happy 4th of July! :)

Thank you to all the service people who fight and defend our great Country! God Bless You! God Bless America!

I worked at West for a whole 4 days. HORRIBLE job! I start TEEX thursday :)

My family leaves Friday for a week...yay for peace and quiet!! WHOOP!

I saw some old HS friends this weekend..it's so weird how much we've all changed...time is flying. Saw a girl who changed for the good and it is so great to see that. She loves the Lord and her family now. So great :) God is so good.
I made an 'A' in my Summer 1 English class! WHOOP! My last paper was amazing...why a playoff system would be a good thing..interesting actually....

I'm actually ready for the fall...I don't know..just am.....I'm crazy though.

I feel like my life is getting better, it's such a good feeling. The Lord is so great. :)

I saw Granger Smith and Charlie tonight after the Bombers game....Seeing them again Tuesday haha..love them!

Weird to think summer is half way over..gah time is flying. I'll be out of HS two years in December...I can't believe it!!

just a little update in the life of crazy Kassie :)

Love you so much!

Full of His Grace and Love,
Kassie :)

things to be happy about today:
denny's grand slam breakfast. valentine's for your whole class in elementary school. the elementary school book fair. girl scout cookies. having your picture in the newspaper.