Monday, November 22, 2010

Change.


I feel like I could use a million hugs right now. I just look at myself in the mirror and I'm not happy at all. It's just like who really cares?

The people you thought would be around forever, well they just aren't around anymore. So who do you turn to? God? Yeah sure, that sounds great, if only it were that easy.

Family? It's like nothing you do sometimes makes them happy, but you just gotta keep trying.

So what am I left with? This blog, at least I can write exactly how I feel. I just feel like I need a big change, and I can't put my finger on what exactly it is.

On a lighter note, new blog layout and my birthday is in 8 days :)

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for you for reading my ramblings!

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Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Name.

The Name By Aaron Ivey

There is a name that moves
A name so wonderful
With power to rend the Heavens
And peace to still the storms

His name is Jesus, Jesus
The Lamb of God, the Lord Most High
He is Jesus
There is a name that loves
A name so wonderful
The One that loves the sinner
And heals the broken heart

His name is Jesus, Jesus
The Lamb of God, the Lord Most High
He is Jesus

All glory and fame be unto the One who reigns
Yes You reign
All heaven and earth rejoice at the sound
Of Your name, of Your name

There is a name that saves
A name so wonderful
His blood has sealed our pardon
Through the triumph of the cross

All glory and fame be unto the One who reigns
Yes You reign
All heaven and earth rejoice at the sound
Of Your name, of Your name


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Monday, November 8, 2010

A few things.

This weekend was incredible.

I got paid, got an iPhone 4 (I therefore, feel cool.), saw the Ags BTHO O-Who?, and celebrated at Northgate with thousands of other people. Today I went to church, and then lunch with my family, then napped all day! Fabulous weekend, for sure.

I love that the Ags are ranked now, and beat number 8 OU. We just need to win out! Man we looked good yesterday!

I'm still struggling with what's going on with a friend. I just want everything to be okay, but there's a point where I just have surrender it and let God do his thing.

I became friends again with someone this weekend, after texting them. That was cool, he's definitely a blessing in my life.

I love love love love love my iPhone 4. Like man, greatest phone ever!

TobyMac and Skillet is in a week and a half ish, you should go buy tickets! ticketservant.com

Gig 'Em!
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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Oh man.

Do you ever have people take things the wrong way? And then it completely ruins a relationship/friendship?

Yeah, me too.

But it's got me thinking, when has this happened to me, in the fact where I've taken something wrong and not given the person the time or day to discuss it with me? Probably super often.

I'm becoming a lot more conscience of things I say and do, because of this kinda stuff. It's not worth losing friends over. It's not worth it. It's all petty.

I hate when people are mad at me, and it gets in trouble sometimes because I keep trying to make things right, because it hurts me to have someone mad at me, when I genuinely feel bad for what I did.

But then the realistic side of me thinks, "Why do you keep trying Kassie? They clearly don't care, and aren't going to give you the time of day."

But then the nonrealistic side of me thinks, "Maybe they'll come around, and listen to you. Maybe they'll wanna work things out if not for the good, at least to be civil."

Oh man.

I guess maybe this is one big lesson that I'm learning little things from. Like this lesson.

But then the depressed side of me thinks, "What if I die tomorrow, would they be at my funeral?" "If I got in a bad wreck, would they even care?"

I hate thinking those thoughts, but it's true. Would they?

I genuinely feel bad for how someone took some things, but at the time it was how I was feeling. I wish things were different, I wish you were one of my best friends again. But I completely understand we're in two different cities, and different lives.

Granted, I've screwed up. My life isn't perfect, I make mistakes, and I probably am not living the way I should be. I depended on you entirely too much before, I'm learning to depend on myself and God, and it's hard, but it's a work in progress daily. But this is my sincere hope and prayer is that we can at least be semi-friends again. I cherish friendships, because I don't have many of them. You're friendship meant the world to me, because you knew so much about me and helped me through so much. We've been to hell and back and survived, and I know that we can be friends, and I think our friendship would be so much stronger right now. I think you're absolutely one of the best people I know. Best morals, and standards of any of my friends. You've changed the world, whether you know it or not. I sincerely appreciate you have being in my life, and if you never want to be there again, I understand.

I also, apologize. For anything negative you might have heard me said. I never meant things to be taken as they were. I never thought you were a bad person, or anything of the liking. I was at a loss for words with how events happened. I honestly don't know why we stopped talking, it just kind of happened.

I hope you can find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me and give me another shot at being a friend.

I hope you are doing well, and will at least think about what I said.

I do love you and care about you greatly.

Blessings,
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