Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Overcoming Bitterness

Bitterness is poison. You can't hold hate and love in your heart at the same time. Hate and bitterness is poison and toxic.

Ben Stuart's talk from a few weeks ago is really powerful. It's called "Overcoming Bitterness."

A few main points I got from it:

  • A proper understanding of God's sovereignty gives you the power to forgive.
  • Forgiveness is making the decision to not hurt them
  • The reason why you're so bitter at someone in your past who hurt you is because they had a power over you and you don't like the fact that an evil person did that bad thing which has power over your life.
  • You keep telling me you got past it but you didn't, your bitterness there is ruining your story now.
  • That very act you meant for evil, God meant for good.
  • The person who hurt you doesn't run your story, God does.
  • I have the resources to forgive you because you don't run my story, God does.
  • When I get power, I use it to love. I don't use it to hurt people, that's crazy.
  • The powerful God forgives and I can forgive that person.
  • You can forgive when you realize you have a loving and sovereign God.
  • Forgiveness you can do alone, reconciliation takes two.
  • Reconciliation comes when two people can speak grace and love.
  • Reconciliation happens when you speak truth, "Your hurt me." "Yes I did." And then you extend grace and I'm sorry and I'm not retaliating. You come to them with grace and truth to reconcile.
  • Living a life of grace and truth and I can forgive you because of the Sovereign God working in my life.
This podcast was so good. It's definitely life changing... I definitely learned a lot from this one podcast.

There's only so much you can do to repair a relationship. In AA, they say "clean up your side of the street." That's all we can do sometimes. Like it says in the bullet list, it only takes you to forgive someone. But I know that it has to be honest to let this go. If it's not, it's pointless.

I definitely learned a lot.
Thanks Ben..

God bless,
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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Beginning Again

People make mistakes, and sometimes it seems an apology isn't enough to repair the damage. But, I feel that it should be accepted and you should be able to forgive someone or that shows some bitterness. If someone can get the courage up enough to apologize and mean it because they know they screwed up, you should accept it and move on. Maybe this means that person will never be in your life again, but the least that you can do is end on good terms, rather than hatred.

This happened to me recently and it's changed my view on life, drastically. People walk in and out of my life often, but the people who stay are ones who changed my life. I think time away from people is a good thing. The last week or two all I've had in my memory are the good times, the times I laughed, acted stupid, and was happy. Does that mean I'm unhappy? Not at all. I hate when I know I screwed things up, and apologizing isn't enough for certain people, but I guess that shows me something.

I'm just at this hard spot, because with the people I had a falling out with, all you wanna do is everything in your power to fix it, but sometimes that just screws things up. I guess sometimes saying sorry is all you can do. I know God has this situation under His complete control.

You can't just throw out memories so fast, and maybe that's a good thing. Memories of anything keep us alive. Good memories are essential to life. I'm grateful for those good memories with certain people. Of course, I want nothing more than to fix what happened, but what can I do?

The last couple weeks have been well, different. It's weird not having that one person you can text and just talk about all these things with. It's weird having to almost remake friends. But, it also reminds me how precious friendships are. And how precious new beginnings are. I'm grateful for new beginnings, and new chapters. I'm sad to close old ones, but grateful for new ones. I've learned a lot in the last couple weeks, and I don't regret one thing that happened to bring me to this place, now that's something I didn't think I'd ever say.

Also, everything I've been reading on my Tumblr and Pinterest Quotes relates to this situation right now.. Funny how that always works out.

I'm so blessed, even though I've lost a few friends in the last few weeks, I'm blessed.

Maybe those friendship will be healed in time, because people make mistakes. We're human, which is why Christ had to come to Earth. Thank God for that.

Have a good week,

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"Not everything turns into what it’s supposed to be and not everybody is supposed to just walk out of your life. Sometimes surprises and second chances do happen.. And when they do, you’ve gotta not be afraid to let them happen."


"You should never forget about the past, everything happens for a reason. Instead learn from the past, learn from your mistakes and learn from every experience in life. Never forget those that have changed you either for the good or the bad because they have made you who you are. Always remember that life is meant to be tough, to challenge you, and to make you stronger."

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Heaven

How can one describe their emotions on that Tuesday morning 10 years ago?

I was merely in 6th grade, and I remember specifically that the principal came over the speaker and told the teachers to turn off the news. As soon as I got home, our family is glued to the TV and news. Seeing the images of the plane crashing into the second tower is forever burned in my memory.

I am fascinated by 09/11, just from the reactions, and the news. Our nation really changed that day. We now have to get to the airport 2 hours before we take off, and we now can't have this and that. Think about how much this day effected our day to day.

Do I feel safe? I think so, but then I start thinking about how close I live to the shore, and the refineries, and that's scary. The people that hate the US, will attack again I believe, but what can you do?

This morning in church we sang Because He Lives, and it's so fitting. Because He Lives I don't have to live in fear. I'm confident that the Lord has a plan and is watching over this great country.

I came across a very touching tribute that keeps up with a girl from a year after the attacks until now...



I can't wait to fly away and meet some of our American Heroes from that day.

Be blessed, and may we never forget 09.11.2001.

Peace and grace,
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Monday, August 8, 2011

I see

Changes.

I can't place my finger on them, but I see them. I find myself wanting to get up and go to work, I find myself wanting to wash clothes and help. I find myself dealing with things I haven't dealt with before.

Tonight I was listening to one of my CDs I made in my car, and I came across this song. It had so much more meaning and real

In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I've never gone hungry and always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet
In my own little world
Population me

I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts
and I turn off the news when I don't like what I see
it's easy to do when it's
population me
What if there's a bigger picture
what if I'm missing out
What if there's a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world

Stopped at the red light, looked out my window
Outside the car, saw a sign, said "Help this homeless widow"
Just above this sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, "God, what have I been doing?"
So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by
I gave her some money then I drove on through
In my own little world there's
Population two

What if there's a bigger picture
what if I'm missing out
What if there's a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world
Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours
give me open hands and open doors
put Your light in my eyes and let me see
that my own little world is not about me

I'm self-centered. I recognize this and accept it, and this song is reminding me that it's not about me, it's about the world we live in. The song was just a slap in the face. Thank God for the beauty of the cross. I was saved for HIS glory, and saved to bring GLORY to His name.

As I heard this weekend, "Thank God I don't get what I deserve."

Thankful for the cross, and the freedom I have in Christ.

Blessed,

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Friday, July 29, 2011

Lyric People

I read quotes, it's what I live off of. I absolutely love them. It's why I got a Tumblr, to basically keep my quotes in one place. Anyways, the other night I read a quote and I absolutely fell in love with it.


"You know, I’ve got this theory; there are two kinds of people in the world. There are lyric people and music people. You know, the lyrics people tend to be analytical. You know, all about the meaning of the song. They’re the ones you see with the CD insert out like five minutes after buying it, pouring over the lyrics, interpreting the hell out of everything. Then there’s the music people, who could care less for the lyrics as long as it’s just got, like, a good beat and you could dance to it. I don’t know, sometimes it might be easier to be a music person and not a lyric person. But since I’m not, let me just say this: sometimes things find you when you need them to find you. I believe that. And for me, it’s usually song lyrics."

This quote is ME. I analyze everything, and I don't even listen to the new CD, I read the cover back and forth, and analyze it. What the artist said, who they thanked all of that. It makes me either feel like I can relate to the artist or not. For example, Taylor Swift's "Fearless" album's cover was simply amazing, it had this posted in it:

To me, fearless is not the absence of fear.
It’s not being completely unafraid.
To me, fearless is having fears.
Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them.
To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before.
Fearless if walking into your freshman year of highschool at fifteen.
Fearless is getting up and fighting for what you want over and over again…
even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost.
It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change.
Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even though you can’t breathe without them.
I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend
even though he’s in love with someone else.
And when someone apologizes to you enough times
for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them.
It’s fearless to say “you’re NOT sorry,” and walk away.
I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless.
I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless.
Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright… that’s fearless too.
But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it.
You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after.
That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless

LOVE. I absolutely love that whole paragraph. She's so real, and that's why I fee like every song she writes, is about my life.

I just love lyrics, they all have this incredible story. Even if they are with misplaced beats, and horrible chords. It's a story that someone needed to let out. The other night it was late, and I was watching TV and the Brooks and Dunn special came on where artists gave tribute to them. They have this one song that Jennifer Hudson redid, and oh my it's powerful. Even Maya Angelou thinks so. It's called "Believe." Just go look it up, it's so good. My favorite line in it though:

I can't quote the book
The chapter or the verse
You can't tell me it all ends
In a slow ride in a hearse
You know I'm more and more convinced
The longer that I live
Yeah, this can't be
No, this can't be
No, this can't be all there is

I believe. I trust. I hope. I live.

Blessings,
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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The time where everything is being repeated..

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I read quotes all the time. While I'm at work, when I get home, pretty much all I do. I don't know why, it's just something I do. (Better than drugs right?)

Well a few days ago I found an amazing quote, and I posted it on my Facebook, well then the other day I was surfing the web again and found it AGAIN, then just now it came up AGAIN. I think there's something behind all these shenanigans... Here's the quote

The essence of life is not being perfect, impressing people, or succeeding at everything. The essence of life is simply making mistakes and learning from them, surrounding yourself with people that love you when you're being yourself, and getting through the failures so that you can continue improving.
I think this quote is my life quote at the moment, because it really does speak to me, and influences my life. It's got some truth in it as well. I don't know, but I really like it.


New tumblr:: crazylovelybeautiful.tumblr.com
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Sunday, June 26, 2011

The beautiful thing..

you know the beautiful thing about love? It’s so powerful. Nothing else can make people do the things that love can make them do. It’s the only emotion that can make people fight, and give their all to something or someone. It’s the only thing that can make people hold on, when they otherwise would have given up. Love is strong, it’s powerful and it’s rare. So when people find it, they marvel at the power of it. And they keep holding on because it’s the truest form of ecstasy. The world cannot survive without love. It’s the only thing that can get people to hold on anymore.

My cousin got married yesterday, and so the whole side pretty much of my dad's family was in Houston. It was incredible. I met cousins I didn't know I had, or hadn't seen in years. It was awesome.

It got me thinking... Love is so powerful, and so strong. People spend lots of money on a day to show their love to each other and to their families and friends. I experienced this first hand yesterday. I also believe that this was the first wedding I've been to, that I was family at, in a long time. It was cool. It was sort of a mini-family reunion for my dad's side.

It ended with all of my dad's side going to dinner last night and reminiscing and talking to everyone. My dad's sister was there, and my dad and her together is just hilarious. I absolutely love it. Family is forever, and I really saw how wonderful my family is yesterday. It was so neat.

The wedding was beautiful, and it was a good time. :)

But love, it's so powerful, so pretty, and so rare. Family is so powerful, and so lovely. Both go hand and hand..

I'm in awe of how good the Lord is with providing love and family.

Be blessed!
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Fearless, nbd

I live vicariously through quotes. Ever since I was in middle school I loved reading people's Xangas, and my confession of the day is I still do read them. Usually they are composed by 13 year old girls with love quotes that would probably make many of you vomit with how "lame" they are. But all in all, I love them. I love how I can just relate to some of them, laugh at some, and somehow when I sit down to read them one pops out at me that describes my exact thought and feeling at that present time. Maybe it makes me weird. Maybe it makes me childish, but whatever it makes me, it makes me smile.

I recently came across this Tumblr that I absolutely adore, and I kind of did something similar on my blog awhile back about the little things that make you happy. This tumblr is here. I guarantee you'll smile after reading some of those.

I read Taylor Swift lyrics because the summarize my life. But on her Fearless album cover she had this to say, and I absolutely loveee it.

To me, fearless is not the absence of fear.
It's not being completely unafraid.
To me, fearless is having fears.
Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them.
To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before.
Fearless if walking into your freshman year of highschool at fifteen.
Fearless is getting up and fighting for what you want over and over again...
even though every time you've tried before, you've lost.
It's fearless to have faith that someday things will change.
Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even though you can't breathe without them.
I think it's fearless to fall for your best friend
even though he's in love with someone else.
And when someone apologizes to you enough times
for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's fearless to stop believing them.
It's fearless to say "you're NOT sorry," and walk away.
I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless.
I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless.
Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright... that's fearless too.
But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it.
You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after.
That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.


I'm fearless about life, I believe in the things that most people find lame and stupid. I'm a hopeless romantic, and a cynical romantic all at the same time. It's possible, believe me.

I'm a little weird, but so are you.

Have a good Tuesday :)
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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Ohhhkay

I'm in this really weird nostalgic mood. Tonight I was having a conversation with my best friend and the past kept getting brought up and it brought me back to pictures. Pictures from high school, all the way through the current time of my life.

It's absolutely CRAZY. My heart just sunk, and my body became numb. What happened? Yeah, yeah. People grow apart, but what really happened?

Do we just throw away those meaningful relationships we once had? Is it because we're "too busy," "too different," "too far away," "things are just different now?" I personally think those are all superficial reasons. A provoking thought: "Honestly I don't think people can change. You know, at the end of the day, you are who you are and that's probably who you've always been." Another thought is maybe people change, and you change, and their change meshes with your change thus, you stay friends. I don't know, just a thought.

Do we change? Maybe our thoughts and stuff, but let's face it when you're hanging out with your friends do we get in a political debate every time? Or do we argue about intellectual things? Probably not, that's what your job is for. They are the people you drink a beer with, and relax with. The people you float the river with and talk about how the one night after a huge event in your life you fell asleep at a bar. You know, those kind of conversations. That's what friends are for. I mean of course, they are the people that you would tell pretty much anything to. Like how you hate your manager, and all you want is out of this god forsaken town. At the end of it all, when you're with people you've been around for a long period of time, they probably are the same. They bring out the childish, crazy, fun side of you. I bet if I got around one of my old best friends from high school, it would pick up where it left off, well once we got back on good terms. (More about that later.)

Is there really any good reason to just stop talking to someone? Definitely, if they become a felon, or a bad person. A bad person is a touchy label, it's definitely up for debate on what makes a person "bad." But someone your parents probably wouldn't want you hanging out with is a good judge of someone. Unless it's for stupid reasons, such as they are ugly or something. I don't know, as I looked at my old Facebook tonight, tears came down my face. I started thinking of the good times I had with certain people. What happened? Why did we just stop talking? I wonder what our last conversation was? I know I saw a few comments from an old best friend of mine from high school, and I absolutely know that we didn't end on good terms. That really upsets me. But my heart right now just longs for some of these relationships to just go back to how they were. Unrealstic goals? Probably, but I really do.

I have this thing about me that I don't want anyone to not like me or hate me. While, I know that this is nearly impossible, I make every effort to try for this not to happen. It can get me in trouble, big time. While I'm trying really hard to make something right, it could end up making it 100 times worse. Super.

Why did you end friendships/relationships? The real reason? I know that my head is spinning as I ask this question myself.

I'm going to read a book, do something different. Maybe hide from the world for a few weeks. My options are limitless. Maybe I'll try fixing a relationship or two. Who knows.

On a side note, I'm super excited about this weekend to go to Houston for my cousin's wedding. I can't wait to see my Aunt and Uncle from my dad's side. I love my family.

Be Blessed,
Kassie

Monday, June 13, 2011

House that Built Me

I know they say you can't go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these hand prints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From Better Homes and Garden magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
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Sunday, June 5, 2011

Sunday Music

Do you ever just have something in your life, maybe it's a person, who just has a hold of you?

Lately the theme song in my life is "A little bit Stronger" by Sara Evans. I'm obsessed with it. It talks about how a relationship just ended, and how the girl is finally just getting over it. And day by day she gets a little bit stronger. I totally relate.

Another current obsession is Miranda Lambert's "Heart like Mine." The chorus is this:
‘Cause I heard Jesus, He drank wine and I bet we’d get along just fine. He could calm a storm and heal the blind and I bet He’d understand a heart like mine. ♥
I seriously can relate to that. Jesus is the only person that can understand my heart. The song is about Miranda's life, and it's really good. She's super talented. It talks about her faults and how that Jesus would accept her for who she is no matter what she does. I totally can relate!

Another song that's amazing is called "Raymond" by Brett Eldridge. If you listen to the song you can figure out the video, it's about a lady with Alzheimers. It's pretty sad, but so good! Such a good song.

Just a few of my current life songs right now. Music speaks where words fail. :)

Have a fantastic week!


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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Love, or maybe not

you know the beautiful thing about love? It’s so powerful. Nothing else can make people do the things that love can make them do. It’s the only emotion that can make people fight, and give their all to something or someone. It’s the only thing that can make people hold on, when they otherwise would have given up. Love is strong, it’s powerful and it’s rare. So when people find it, they marvel at the power of it. And they keep holding on because it’s the truest form of ecstasy. The world cannot survive without love. It’s the only thing that can get people to hold on anymore.

But lately I've been thinking, do we overuse love? I love this movie! I love this place! I love this drink! Do you really love it? Or do you just really like it? I'm guilty of just throwing around the word love too. But we shouldn't. Love is powerful, special, and meaningful. God showed us love by sending His son, that's LOVE.

The world can't progress without love, but I do believe the word love is overused, maybe it sounds crazy. But maybe not.

What do you really love? I love the Lord, my family, and I love my friends. But I don't just love anything, even though I claim I do. I just overuse the word... Maybe we should stop overusing it, and give it some meaning again. People don't take the word love serious anymore.. It's slightly depressing.

Just some rambling thoughts of a 20 somethin year old at 4:45 in the morning..


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Friday, June 3, 2011

3 years

Last week marked 3 years since I heard my name called to end a 3 and a half year journey through high school. The names that were called last week, they were freshmen when I was a senior. Where has time gone? This year marks 5 since Ed died... So crazy.
Here I am 21 years old and I look around and things are so different. The friends I had in high school are definitely not the same, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. We are all at different places in life, some have graduated college, some have a family, some are just working.
Relationships have dramatically changed and people I went to HS with are engaged, it boggles my mind that we are at this stage in life. It being summer all the people who went to college elsewhere are back in town and of course I have ran into them, and it's just weird. We are so "grown up" now.
In the last 3 years I've changed drastically as a person. As well as my friendships. I still have those friends from HS but we aren't as close but I've also made some amazing new friends. I thank the Lord for that.
I just am in awe of how fast the last 7 years have gone by. My little brother will be a freshman in HS in the fall and my sister a senior. It's CRAZY.
I guess I'm learning how fast time is going. I need not take this time for granted.
Seems like yesterday I was roaming the halls of CHS. Now I'm roaming the halls of my job. So crazy.

Have a blessed weekend!

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Right where we left off..

I had a phone conversation over Easter weekend with a friend who I haven't seen since Christmas break, and hadn't honestly talked to since then either. It really really helped me start Easter on the right foot. She was driving to see her family, and I shot her a text and asked her how she was and what her plans were for Easter, if she was coming to town or not. Well the conversation progressed and goes call? And that meant for me to call her because she was driving.

Well over the next 15 minutes we talked about life, and where we are both headed and where we are in our lives at this moment. It was a really refreshing conversation, because we've both changed drastically since HS, and the conversation was really encouraging and uplifting. It made me realize that nothing really has changed other than we don't talk near as much as we used to.

It's those 15 minute phone conversations with a friend you haven't seen in forever that make you realize how amazing life truly is. I'm blessed to know her, and be considered her friend. She has definitely helped me become who I am today. We've been through a lot together, and I know we'll always be friends, because we've proved it.

That simple and little conversation has made me realize a lot, and how grateful I am for this person. While we may not be best friends anymore, she still is one of the greatest friends I've had the privilege of having.

I love being able to have a conversation and start right where we left off, like nothing has changed. To hear encouragement, and to see two people change and become better, made me realize how great friendship really is.

She'll be in my wedding one day, that's for sure. And my kids will call her Aunt, but for now, we're living far away, but we both still know that at a drop of a hat we would be there for each other.

I'm so thankful and so blessed. :)

Happy Thursday!
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Sunday, March 27, 2011

God sent.

Recently my mother and I were talking and somehow Ed got brought up, 5 years in September..crazy, anyways, and that had he not died, and their family not have to move, the Bettiol's wouldn't be living in their house.

My brother is 14, and in 8th grade, and the Bettiol's have a son Randy's age, and they've become best friends. They are on the same baseball team this spring, and they are always together. Randy really needed this because of his personality. God really does work mysteriously.

In no way am I glad Ed died, I mean c'mon. And I'm sad the Kings moved, but it was good for them. They were in town last week, I seriously adore that family!

But for the Bettiol's to be the family who lives in the house, which is like 2 houses from our family, is just a God thing. Like it's amazing.

Just a small story about how big GOD is!

Love you guys!

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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Marching forward.

Oh you know one fourth of the year is gone... um whaaaaat???

This week has been awful rough in my life, but it's going to get better. I've made a few mistakes, and I think I was at one of my all time lows of my life, but as I say, "when you're the lowest point in your life, you're in the perfect position to kneel and pray."

God is so good, and even though I've screwed up a million and one times, His love is unconditional. I'm so undeserving but I get it anyways. Amazing Grace, for sure. It's weird because when I was at my all time low this past week, it's amazing what people come out of the woodwork to tell you they care. Remarkable in fact. I'm so thankful for the few people who were able to talk to me this past week and get me through this tough time. :) You people are AMAZING. I love you all dearly!

I hate being a disappointment, and that's definitely what I was, but I think it was a huge wake up call, and I'm definitely going to get my life straight. :)

I have entirely too much to do before we leave for Sugar Land on Friday. Then we're going to South Padre on Tuesday! :) I'm so excited because we're going to have a blassssst!
I am going BLONDE this weekend!! So excited!

Keep me in your prayers :)

Love you guys!
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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Where do I go?

Ending a relationship for good of any kind is the hardest thing we have to do as humans, in my opinion. Relationships are how we thrive, how we live, how we become who we are.

I mean think about it, you're in a relationship with every person you encounter. The girl who checks you out at the grocery store is your grocery checker outter, and if you're like me, you know most of the people who check you out because you go at the same time and same day usually, oh the things we do subconsciously.

All the people in our class are our classmates, and we have a relationship with them by going to the same school and being in the same class. Your professor and you have a relationship by them being your elder, in theory, because they are there to teach.

Your best friends, because they give you advice, drink your sorrows down with you, and party hard when something good happens. They are also those people who are completely honest with you about everything, including if you look fat in a dress.

(Speaking from a girl's point of view) The boys that you date/see, because they are the ones you can always count on to cry to, laugh with, kiss in the rain, and sit on their lap. They are the ones with whom's hand you hold in a semi-scary movie. Or cuddle with when it's freezing out. They are the ones you are really close with.

What happens when relationships end? For the first few, it's part of life on a daily basis. For instance, I've created a relationship with someone in my class, but I don't talk to them every day. Just on days when necessary. Professors, it ends after the semester.

What happens when relationships with your best friends end? In my case, I've lost a best friend, although we're still friends, not as close as we used to be, but I've gained a new best friend or two. It's kind of funny how that works, and it's quite remarkable. For me, it's been a great thing. It's kinda nice to have new best friends. It sucks losing the old ones, but they helped shaped me into who I became.

Boys. Recently the boy that I love, and always probably will have cut ties completely. I deleted him from my life last night. It was honestly, the hardest decision I've made in my life. I was numb and in shock, I wanted to marry him one day. He is one of the only people I honestly trust in this world. He gave me the best advice, and listened to me about everything. I wish I could go back and do things so differently, but hindsight is 20/20. I don't know, last night was rough, I cried a lot. I just don't know. I'm a fool for love, and a fool for him. I guess all we can do is move forward. And trust my best friends who will be there for me through it all.

I just don't know where to go, he was my everything, besides Jesus. haha. I would do anything to have him back in my life for good. I guess I just need to move forward.

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Monday, February 14, 2011

Okay.

It's Valentine's Day, whoopee? NO.

There is no need to tell someone on this specific day of the year you love them, you should show that every day.

In fact, today is annoying. This is going to be my ranting blogpost, btw. It reminds me that I'm alone, and no one will buy me flowers, or a teddy bear. It also reminds me that the person I love, will probably never love me back, and I just can't let them go. It's so hard, and I don't know what to do.

They won't even really talk to me, and if they do it's super short. "Cool." "Yup." Stuff like that, freaking annoying. But at the same time, if they didn't want to ever talk to me again, I feel like they wouldn't respond to texts, etc.

I don't know. I just want someone to take interest in me, you know?

But to all my friends, Happy Valentine's day. Thank you to Becky and Zac for inviting me to dinner and stuff. They are the best friends a girl could ask for.

Love you guys,
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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Dreammmm On

So lately I've had some really wack dreams.

So this one dream I had, one of my good friends Valorie, check her out here, took my MacBook right before my wedding to marry this guy I met on twitter, and smashed the screen, then pretended nothing happened and still was one of my bridesmaids... what? Yes, I know.

Another, I had a dream I woke up not in my bed, and that I was halfway around the world in Germany with my mom.

And then, the worst one I was pregnant and all my friends and family disowned me except one person, who will be nameless, and he wasn't even the father.

What? I KNOW!

What's your craziest dream?
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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Worst Thing

The absolute worst thing anyone could do to me is lie to my face.

You could wipe my bank account, take my car, do whatever, and none of that is as bad as lying to me. I got lied to by a good friend this weekend, and we talked it out, but it just reminded me of how big of a deal lying is. I don't like it at all. I consider myself a loyal friend to the few friends I have and lying to me just really hurts me.

This weekend was fun. Went and saw Roger Creager on Friday with Becky and her friends, it was epic. Oh man, so fun.

I saw County Strong for the 3rd time, I'm slightly obsessed with this movie.

I am not feeling too hot, but I'll be okay..

Finally am registered and paid for classes! :) :) :) It feels good to be back in school.

How are you?
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Thursday, January 20, 2011

This is who I am...

I am a new creation,
the old is passed away
and I’m made new
I’m made new.

And I have been adopted,
the door is opened up
for me to know you
be like you

This is who I am
I’ve been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are

When my heart condemns me
tells me I am guilty
Your greater
Your greater

Jesus you have searched me,
and even in your finding
You have loved
and You love me

This is who I am
I’ve been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are

For He mad Him who knew no sin
To be sent
On our behalf was crucified
Oh that we could be the righteousness
Of our creator

I am a new creation,
the old is passed away
and I’m made new
I’m made new.

This is who I am
I’ve been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are

This is who I am
I’ve been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are
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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I'm tired

It's like when things get good in my life I think, they just end up crashing right in front of me.

I am such a positive person, and so happy 90% of the time, I just for once would like that happiness to be completely honestly truth. I just want to be completely comfortable in my own skin. Is that so hard to ask?

It's like all my friends are fucking gorgeous, and when I like a guy they steal them away or something happens and I just don't feel good enough. UGH. I've been working out and working on myself, like what else is there to do?

I just don't know. I was so happy last week. I just want to be happy 24/7 for longer than a week. that's all.

UGH.

I'm going to bed.

Be blessed this weekend.

I'm going to follow this quote, and remember for it every time I get depressed/upset.

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse
you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are
successful, you may win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be
forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and
transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and
transparent anyway. What you spend years building
may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People
who really want help may attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have
and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway.
+ + Mother Teresa

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Progress!!

I've been working out the last two weeks! Yesterday I did 4.5 miles on the elliptical and treadmill. I have been feeling so much better after working out so much. People say I look better and I feel like it's just all around helping my life. It feels so good! I love it.

I'm joining the gym tomorrow, and I'm so pumped. My friend who just moved back into town joined the gym too so we are going to go together. That's why I was able to do so much yesterday.

I'm going to start working on running faster. I did a mile this morning, and ran off and on and it was good. I pushed myself.

I'm so proud of myself. :)

How are you doing?

Be blessed this week!
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Friday, January 14, 2011

Just a few quotes..

Happy Friday lovelies.
Some quotes to ponder for the weekend..

I feel more comfortable talking to strangers than people I know.
I believe this is because chances are, I’ll never see them ever again.
And I feel like I can say anything I want. They don't know my past or
what I’ve done. They can only judge me on who they are seeing
right that second. I’m the person I am now, not then. People
I know don't see the difference.


I'm the type of girl who will fall for a guy she barely knows; who
will listen to a love song and see his face; who will look for him
wherever she goes. I'm the type of girl who doesn't get over
things easily; who will beat herself up when someone doesn't
love her back; who will cry herself to sleep because she feels
she's not good enough. But I'm also the type of girl who's strong; who
can cry her eyes out and then forbid them to come back the next
morning; who will blast some old pop song and sing it at the top
of her lungs because she feels like it; who will be no one but herself.



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Thursday, January 13, 2011

So a little progress

I've worked out 3 of the last 4 days. I took a day off because my knee was killing me as was my back. I've lost 2 lbs, I believe. :)

I feel so much better about myself when I work out because I know I'm working on myself. SO AWESOME!

On a different note, do you ever feel like you have no idea how you go to this point in your life? A point where you're finally happy? Happy with the people that surround you and the people who are in your life? It's such a good feeling, but for me it kind of happened all of the sudden.

I worked things out with one of my best friends over the break, and since then there's been no turning back. I'm working on my life and if you want to be apart of it, great, if not, great too. I wish you the best.

It's so awesome to feel happy with yourself and where you are. When I look in the mirror I can say, "I'm living my life the best way possible, and I love myself and my life."

So incredibly happy with everything. Going back to school this semester! :) I need to register, dangit.

Bring on 2011, I'm ready!
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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Country Strong




I saw this movie twice this past weekend.

AMAZING.

The songs in the movie are so moving, and the plot line is decent. I love Gwyenth Paltrow so much! Tim McGraw's character is interesting, I couldn't figure him out totally but good.

Leighton in it, so so so talented. I love her song "Summer Girls." Also, Garrett Hedlund is gorgeous and super talented.

I can't wait to download the album of iTunes when I get my precious MacBook back. It got shipped off because it was sick :(

How are you friends?

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Monday, January 3, 2011

Addressing My Friends Concerns!


Okay guys.

1. Losing 90lbs in 6 monthsish isn't undoable.
2. You lose a lot of weight at first
3. The first 50 lbs will be super easy, the rest will be the hardest.
4. It's more about me changing my lifestyle and having weight loss goals with it.
5. I will be smart, and careful.
6. I won't kill myself.
7. If you see me eating bad, or drinking a soda slap me, seriously.
8. Don't worry about me please, I know my limits.
9. Even if I don't lose 90lbs, and lose less, but change my lifestyle I'll be thrilled. :)

I love you all for caring though. :)

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Sunday, January 2, 2011

OLD KASSIE OUT.




I Used to be Fat.
I was just watching this show, and I'm sitting here in tears.

I'm super uncomfortable with my weight. Super.

But starting next Monday, January 10th, I will conquer this and lose 90lbs by summer, and not by starving myself. By working out 2x a day, and eating right.

I got a new blog today, to signify a new me, and 3 moths from January 10th, aka April 10th, I will be a new person. I WILL. I CAN. I CAN CONQUER THIS.

I want to be able to say, I used to be fat.

Just want to be completely happy with myself in 2011, and I can be. I'm going back to school, and going to change how I look because I HAVE THE DISCIPLINE TO DO THIS and prove my parents and family wrong that I can do this.

Fuck the past, and being fat, I'm done.

Old Kassie is out.

I'll post my results here every few weeks, because I need accountability, and I need to do this for me.
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