I worry entirely too much and it causes me to break down like I am now.
I'm scared of the fall. What happens when she goes back to school? What happens when I start getting back into my normal routine? What happens to the friendship we've worked on all summer? I mean I just am so scared of falling away from someone I love and care about. Sounds ridiculous probably but it's all I've been thinking about lately. I feel like I have no one but her and when school starts I feel like I'll have NO ONE. I mean I just need to find some good Christian girls to hang out with during the school year that will bring me up and not tear me down. I just don't know what's going to happen. I feel like sometimes we're growing together then other times falling apart. I feel like when she goes back to school she hangs out with those people and I just don't know what to do. I don't feel apart of it. I just worry about the future with the people who are in my life now. I just take it for granted so much, and I am so grateful for the people in my life but I know I need to develop and grow relationships but sometimes I'm scared because they might disappear.
Another thing I worry about is living my life. I just want to make my parents proud of me and excited about things I do. My biggest fear in life is being a failure. I just wanna live a life pleasing to the Lord and my parents. I just want to live my life right and down the right path. I'm learning to not satisfy myself in things of this world, but in things above. All joy comes from the Lord. In Him I am whole, in nothing else. I forget that so much. I worry about things so much but if I just learn to trust in the Lord everything will fall into place. I forget I am a daughter of the King and that he loves me so much. I forget this so often. He's blessed me with so much and I fail to thank him for that by living my life for him.
"In your presence God I'm completely satisfied. For you I sing, I dance. I rejoice in this divine romance."
"A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work." John Lubbock
I'm learning this quote is so true. If we use the effort and time that we worry and put it towards trusting in the Lord I feel like life would be so much better.
"Oh no you never let go. In every high and every low. Oh no you never let go. Lord you NEVER let go of me."
How awesome to know that in your lowest of times the Lord is there. And he is to be praised and glorified in not only the mountain top highs but in those major lows in our lives. We turn to him in the darkest times of our life, but what about the good times? I forget to thank the Lord for the good things in my life. I take them for granted. The Lord NEVER lets us go and it's so great to know.
The Lord is great, and I just am working on trusting, loving and living in the right way.
Lord, I pray for the relationships in my life that you will be in them and glorified with them. I pray for the future, Lord, with Caitlin moving back to school that you will continue growing our friendship. God, I need to learn to trust you more and depend on you and not this world. God you NEVER let go of me, you love me so much and I take that for granted so much. I love you so much and I know I don't live my life amazing all the time, but I know that without you I am nothing. I am dust. God you are so good, you put amazing people in my life and for that I am so thankful. But I pray that in the fall you will help me develop some relationships with some girls here that are loving and full of you God. I pray for the opportunities to seek these girls out Lord and get to know them. I pray for this dark and hurting world, that you will use us to show the light. God, you are sovereign and mighty to save and I pray for that for our country. I pray that you will just be prevalent in our lives God. Sin has lost it's power God, you rose victoriously to save us from that. I am so thankful. You are awesome God. I pray that you'll use me more and help me to trust in you more. I love you and am so thankful for your love that you pour over me. I pray all these things in your Sons most Holy and Precious name, Amen.
I love you.
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to
save. He will take great delight in you, he will
quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you
with singing!" Zephaniah 3:17