OLD KASSIE OUT.

I Used to be Fat.

I was just watching this show, and I'm sitting here in tears.

I'm super uncomfortable with my weight. Super.

But starting next Monday, January 10th, I will conquer this and lose 90lbs by summer, and not by starving myself. By working out 2x a day, and eating right.

I got a new blog today, to signify a new me, and 3 moths from January 10th, aka April 10th, I will be a new person. I WILL. I CAN. I CAN CONQUER THIS.

I want to be able to say, I used to be fat.

Just want to be completely happy with myself in 2011, and I can be. I'm going back to school, and going to change how I look because I HAVE THE DISCIPLINE TO DO THIS and prove my parents and family wrong that I can do this.

Fuck the past, and being fat, I'm done.

Old Kassie is out.

I'll post my results here every few weeks, because I need accountability, and I need to do this for me.

Let me just say..

I'm Kassie.

I'm super opinionated.

I say the wrong things, all the time.

I'm a mess, inside and out.

I don't look like Barbie.

Most of my friends are way prettier than me.

I have self-confidence most of the time, but struggle with it.

I dream of my dad walking me down the aisle with my best friends by my side.

I dream of the day where guys don't always think about sex.

I'm obsessed with myself, but not in a conceited way.

I ramble, often.

I like the way alcohol tastes, and I really hardly ever get drunk any more.

Being 21 is freaking amazing.

Being on semi-consistent speaking terms with one of my dearest and long time friends, is a great feeling. :)

Christmas time is seriously the best time of year.

Well, minus the 70 degree weather.

Texas, get your act together.

I adore my mom and dad.

I seriously adore, Valorie too.

Dear Josh Groban, marry me? Please?

I love Glee, and hate Bieber.

I cry at EVERY wedding.

Oh Holy Night, is amazing.

I struggle in college, and it might take me 6 years to graduate.

I'm okay with that.

I want to work in sports marketing/promotions.

Or in NCAA compliance.

My family are sports nuts.

I'm in charge of planning a HUGE event for my dad on May 21.

I'm kind of freaking out because it'll be May before you know it!

Sometimes, I like to talk in 3rd person.

I'm really strange like that.

I like Math.

I talk too fast according to my family.

I love working at the hotel.

I miss my old boss sometimes.

Mexican food is kinda my obsession.

Also, margaritas.

I send and received roughly 10,000 texts a month...yes, it's possible.

I love music.

Quotes, another one of my obsessions.

I'm really not as loud as most people think.

I do know everyone in this town, so it feels.

I'm going to the Cotton Bowl, because I have an amazing father.

I have a crush on a guy that I kinda met on Twitter, but haven't met in real life.

3 years ago this week, I finished high school.

I'm a total clutz.

My dad votes on the Heisman, AP Top 25 for football and women's basketball, he's amazing!

I really love Jesus! :)

I love my life for the most part.

Also, I have the best people around me in my life!

I love you all :)

Oh man.

It's definitely December 12th already.

Where the heck has time gone? Tonight was our church's Christmas program and I swore I was just listening to our July 4th one. It really boggles my mind that 2010 is almost over.

11 days ago I turned 21, and it's so weird to me. I feel all of the sudden, grown up. Weird how that works, isn't it?

Last night a childhood friend got married, she's simply 2 years older than me. It's weird, because I've grown up practically with her and her awesome family! Crazy. We had a great time last night at the reception, everyone was having a great time dancing and celebrating an amazing marriage! Congrats Zach and Lauren, we love you!!

Back to being 21, it's weird that I can go out and order a margarita, or drink a glass of wine with my mom and her friends. It hasn't really set in yet because it's so new, but I'm sure it'll get old real fast. I'm already slightly annoyed of getting carded because obviously if I have the guts to order a drink, I'm 21.

Found out my family is going up for the Cotton Bowl!! I'm so excited :) Dad's getting me and some friends tickets, and I'm so pumped. I get to watch the Ags BTHO LSU!! :)

Breakaway put out a live album and it's simply phenomenal, definitely go buy it if you don't have it! My favorite song on it is "Radiate." Such a powerful awesome song!

So my friend issue is kinda better, I don't know still where we stand. I guess it happens, it's happening to 2 of my other friends right now. I guess people just grow apart, but last night really got me that I really want this person in my wedding, because they've definitely been there through it all. We'll see, I guess. I just want to sit down and talk to this person, but they don't seem too interested in doing that, and I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt but it's so hard when you feel like you're trying 200% harder than them to just see what's up and show you care about them. I don't know, it brings me to tears.

God is good, and I'm just going to trust that He has a plan behind all this.

Hope you are having a great last month of 2010!

Have a fantastic week guys, and BTHO Finals for some of you.

Love you,

Change.

I feel like I could use a million hugs right now. I just look at myself in the mirror and I'm not happy at all. It's just like who really cares?

The people you thought would be around forever, well they just aren't around anymore. So who do you turn to? God? Yeah sure, that sounds great, if only it were that easy.

Family? It's like nothing you do sometimes makes them happy, but you just gotta keep trying.

So what am I left with? This blog, at least I can write exactly how I feel. I just feel like I need a big change, and I can't put my finger on what exactly it is.

On a lighter note, new blog layout and my birthday is in 8 days :)

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for you for reading my ramblings!

The Name.

The Name By Aaron Ivey

There is a name that moves
A name so wonderful
With power to rend the Heavens
And peace to still the storms

His name is Jesus, Jesus
The Lamb of God, the Lord Most High
He is Jesus
There is a name that loves
A name so wonderful
The One that loves the sinner
And heals the broken heart

His name is Jesus, Jesus
The Lamb of God, the Lord Most High
He is Jesus

All glory and fame be unto the One who reigns
Yes You reign
All heaven and earth rejoice at the sound
Of Your name, of Your name

There is a name that saves
A name so wonderful
His blood has sealed our pardon
Through the triumph of the cross

All glory and fame be unto the One who reigns
Yes You reign
All heaven and earth rejoice at the sound
Of Your name, of Your name

A few things.

This weekend was incredible.

I got paid, got an iPhone 4 (I therefore, feel cool.), saw the Ags BTHO O-Who?, and celebrated at Northgate with thousands of other people. Today I went to church, and then lunch with my family, then napped all day! Fabulous weekend, for sure.

I love that the Ags are ranked now, and beat number 8 OU. We just need to win out! Man we looked good yesterday!

I'm still struggling with what's going on with a friend. I just want everything to be okay, but there's a point where I just have surrender it and let God do his thing.

I became friends again with someone this weekend, after texting them. That was cool, he's definitely a blessing in my life.

I love love love love love my iPhone 4. Like man, greatest phone ever!

TobyMac and Skillet is in a week and a half ish, you should go buy tickets! ticketservant.com

Gig 'Em!

Oh man.

Do you ever have people take things the wrong way? And then it completely ruins a relationship/friendship?

Yeah, me too.

But it's got me thinking, when has this happened to me, in the fact where I've taken something wrong and not given the person the time or day to discuss it with me? Probably super often.

I'm becoming a lot more conscience of things I say and do, because of this kinda stuff. It's not worth losing friends over. It's not worth it. It's all petty.

I hate when people are mad at me, and it gets in trouble sometimes because I keep trying to make things right, because it hurts me to have someone mad at me, when I genuinely feel bad for what I did.

But then the realistic side of me thinks, "Why do you keep trying Kassie? They clearly don't care, and aren't going to give you the time of day."

But then the nonrealistic side of me thinks, "Maybe they'll come around, and listen to you. Maybe they'll wanna work things out if not for the good, at least to be civil."

Oh man.

I guess maybe this is one big lesson that I'm learning little things from. Like this lesson.

But then the depressed side of me thinks, "What if I die tomorrow, would they be at my funeral?" "If I got in a bad wreck, would they even care?"

I hate thinking those thoughts, but it's true. Would they?

I genuinely feel bad for how someone took some things, but at the time it was how I was feeling. I wish things were different, I wish you were one of my best friends again. But I completely understand we're in two different cities, and different lives.

Granted, I've screwed up. My life isn't perfect, I make mistakes, and I probably am not living the way I should be. I depended on you entirely too much before, I'm learning to depend on myself and God, and it's hard, but it's a work in progress daily. But this is my sincere hope and prayer is that we can at least be semi-friends again. I cherish friendships, because I don't have many of them. You're friendship meant the world to me, because you knew so much about me and helped me through so much. We've been to hell and back and survived, and I know that we can be friends, and I think our friendship would be so much stronger right now. I think you're absolutely one of the best people I know. Best morals, and standards of any of my friends. You've changed the world, whether you know it or not. I sincerely appreciate you have being in my life, and if you never want to be there again, I understand.

I also, apologize. For anything negative you might have heard me said. I never meant things to be taken as they were. I never thought you were a bad person, or anything of the liking. I was at a loss for words with how events happened. I honestly don't know why we stopped talking, it just kind of happened.

I hope you can find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me and give me another shot at being a friend.

I hope you are doing well, and will at least think about what I said.

I do love you and care about you greatly.

Blessings,