Love, or maybe not

you know the beautiful thing about love? It’s so powerful. Nothing else can make people do the things that love can make them do. It’s the only emotion that can make people fight, and give their all to something or someone. It’s the only thing that can make people hold on, when they otherwise would have given up. Love is strong, it’s powerful and it’s rare. So when people find it, they marvel at the power of it. And they keep holding on because it’s the truest form of ecstasy. The world cannot survive without love. It’s the only thing that can get people to hold on anymore.

But lately I've been thinking, do we overuse love? I love this movie! I love this place! I love this drink! Do you really love it? Or do you just really like it? I'm guilty of just throwing around the word love too. But we shouldn't. Love is powerful, special, and meaningful. God showed us love by sending His son, that's LOVE.

The world can't progress without love, but I do believe the word love is overused, maybe it sounds crazy. But maybe not.

What do you really love? I love the Lord, my family, and I love my friends. But I don't just love anything, even though I claim I do. I just overuse the word... Maybe we should stop overusing it, and give it some meaning again. People don't take the word love serious anymore.. It's slightly depressing.

Just some rambling thoughts of a 20 somethin year old at 4:45 in the morning..

3 years

Last week marked 3 years since I heard my name called to end a 3 and a half year journey through high school. The names that were called last week, they were freshmen when I was a senior. Where has time gone? This year marks 5 since Ed died... So crazy.
Here I am 21 years old and I look around and things are so different. The friends I had in high school are definitely not the same, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. We are all at different places in life, some have graduated college, some have a family, some are just working.
Relationships have dramatically changed and people I went to HS with are engaged, it boggles my mind that we are at this stage in life. It being summer all the people who went to college elsewhere are back in town and of course I have ran into them, and it's just weird. We are so "grown up" now.
In the last 3 years I've changed drastically as a person. As well as my friendships. I still have those friends from HS but we aren't as close but I've also made some amazing new friends. I thank the Lord for that.
I just am in awe of how fast the last 7 years have gone by. My little brother will be a freshman in HS in the fall and my sister a senior. It's CRAZY.
I guess I'm learning how fast time is going. I need not take this time for granted.
Seems like yesterday I was roaming the halls of CHS. Now I'm roaming the halls of my job. So crazy.

Have a blessed weekend!

Right where we left off..

I had a phone conversation over Easter weekend with a friend who I haven't seen since Christmas break, and hadn't honestly talked to since then either. It really really helped me start Easter on the right foot. She was driving to see her family, and I shot her a text and asked her how she was and what her plans were for Easter, if she was coming to town or not. Well the conversation progressed and goes call? And that meant for me to call her because she was driving.

Well over the next 15 minutes we talked about life, and where we are both headed and where we are in our lives at this moment. It was a really refreshing conversation, because we've both changed drastically since HS, and the conversation was really encouraging and uplifting. It made me realize that nothing really has changed other than we don't talk near as much as we used to.

It's those 15 minute phone conversations with a friend you haven't seen in forever that make you realize how amazing life truly is. I'm blessed to know her, and be considered her friend. She has definitely helped me become who I am today. We've been through a lot together, and I know we'll always be friends, because we've proved it.

That simple and little conversation has made me realize a lot, and how grateful I am for this person. While we may not be best friends anymore, she still is one of the greatest friends I've had the privilege of having.

I love being able to have a conversation and start right where we left off, like nothing has changed. To hear encouragement, and to see two people change and become better, made me realize how great friendship really is.

She'll be in my wedding one day, that's for sure. And my kids will call her Aunt, but for now, we're living far away, but we both still know that at a drop of a hat we would be there for each other.

I'm so thankful and so blessed. :)

Happy Thursday!

God sent.

Recently my mother and I were talking and somehow Ed got brought up, 5 years in September..crazy, anyways, and that had he not died, and their family not have to move, the Bettiol's wouldn't be living in their house.

My brother is 14, and in 8th grade, and the Bettiol's have a son Randy's age, and they've become best friends. They are on the same baseball team this spring, and they are always together. Randy really needed this because of his personality. God really does work mysteriously.

In no way am I glad Ed died, I mean c'mon. And I'm sad the Kings moved, but it was good for them. They were in town last week, I seriously adore that family!

But for the Bettiol's to be the family who lives in the house, which is like 2 houses from our family, is just a God thing. Like it's amazing.

Just a small story about how big GOD is!

Love you guys!

Marching forward.

Oh you know one fourth of the year is gone... um whaaaaat???

This week has been awful rough in my life, but it's going to get better. I've made a few mistakes, and I think I was at one of my all time lows of my life, but as I say, "when you're the lowest point in your life, you're in the perfect position to kneel and pray."

God is so good, and even though I've screwed up a million and one times, His love is unconditional. I'm so undeserving but I get it anyways. Amazing Grace, for sure. It's weird because when I was at my all time low this past week, it's amazing what people come out of the woodwork to tell you they care. Remarkable in fact. I'm so thankful for the few people who were able to talk to me this past week and get me through this tough time. :) You people are AMAZING. I love you all dearly!

I hate being a disappointment, and that's definitely what I was, but I think it was a huge wake up call, and I'm definitely going to get my life straight. :)

I have entirely too much to do before we leave for Sugar Land on Friday. Then we're going to South Padre on Tuesday! :) I'm so excited because we're going to have a blassssst!

I am going BLONDE this weekend!! So excited!

Keep me in your prayers :)

Love you guys!

Where do I go?

Ending a relationship for good of any kind is the hardest thing we have to do as humans, in my opinion. Relationships are how we thrive, how we live, how we become who we are.

I mean think about it, you're in a relationship with every person you encounter. The girl who checks you out at the grocery store is your grocery checker outter, and if you're like me, you know most of the people who check you out because you go at the same time and same day usually, oh the things we do subconsciously.

All the people in our class are our classmates, and we have a relationship with them by going to the same school and being in the same class. Your professor and you have a relationship by them being your elder, in theory, because they are there to teach.

Your best friends, because they give you advice, drink your sorrows down with you, and party hard when something good happens. They are also those people who are completely honest with you about everything, including if you look fat in a dress.

(Speaking from a girl's point of view) The boys that you date/see, because they are the ones you can always count on to cry to, laugh with, kiss in the rain, and sit on their lap. They are the ones with whom's hand you hold in a semi-scary movie. Or cuddle with when it's freezing out. They are the ones you are really close with.

What happens when relationships end? For the first few, it's part of life on a daily basis. For instance, I've created a relationship with someone in my class, but I don't talk to them every day. Just on days when necessary. Professors, it ends after the semester.

What happens when relationships with your best friends end? In my case, I've lost a best friend, although we're still friends, not as close as we used to be, but I've gained a new best friend or two. It's kind of funny how that works, and it's quite remarkable. For me, it's been a great thing. It's kinda nice to have new best friends. It sucks losing the old ones, but they helped shaped me into who I became.

Boys. Recently the boy that I love, and always probably will have cut ties completely. I deleted him from my life last night. It was honestly, the hardest decision I've made in my life. I was numb and in shock, I wanted to marry him one day. He is one of the only people I honestly trust in this world. He gave me the best advice, and listened to me about everything. I wish I could go back and do things so differently, but hindsight is 20/20. I don't know, last night was rough, I cried a lot. I just don't know. I'm a fool for love, and a fool for him. I guess all we can do is move forward. And trust my best friends who will be there for me through it all.

I just don't know where to go, he was my everything, besides Jesus. haha. I would do anything to have him back in my life for good. I guess I just need to move forward.

Okay.

It's Valentine's Day, whoopee? NO.

There is no need to tell someone on this specific day of the year you love them, you should show that every day.

In fact, today is annoying. This is going to be my ranting blogpost, btw. It reminds me that I'm alone, and no one will buy me flowers, or a teddy bear. It also reminds me that the person I love, will probably never love me back, and I just can't let them go. It's so hard, and I don't know what to do.

They won't even really talk to me, and if they do it's super short. "Cool." "Yup." Stuff like that, freaking annoying. But at the same time, if they didn't want to ever talk to me again, I feel like they wouldn't respond to texts, etc.

I don't know. I just want someone to take interest in me, you know?

But to all my friends, Happy Valentine's day. Thank you to Becky and Zac for inviting me to dinner and stuff. They are the best friends a girl could ask for.

Love you guys,