Oh God.

Literally.

Oh God, you never cease to amaze me.

So much has happened since Beach Reach. SO MUCH. I can't even begin to describe, some good, some bad.

I got on this huge spirtual high after Beach Reach, and was telling the whole world but then I don't know Satan attacked me.

Especially this week. Apparently a lot of BRers have been hanging out and I never get invited to that stuff. All of the sudden, I felt alone, lonely like I have no one. Have you ever been in this position? It's terrible. Like I started crying and being super upset. It's like I don't even have a best friend these days... It really breaks my heart. I finally am getting my life back on track, and I have like NO ONE. NO ONE.

Well tonight I met someone for the first time, and he's such a good person. Well he saw I was really upset by facebook and messaged me and we messaged back and forth and at the end he was like we like to cook, call me to come have dinner sometime. It really blessed me, because here is a guy I barely know but he is taking value in me, like how incredible is that? God really showed me a friend tonight! :) I'm so blessed.

I'm just gonna lean on Christ.

One more day. I can do this.

blessings,

kassie

INCREDIBLE!

This past week at Beach Reach, was incredible.

God was totally present in Panama City Beach, Florida among the partying, alcohol, and craziness. It was awesome.

I loved giving rides to people and just getting to hear about different people's lives and talking to people on street team.

There's so many stories, let's have coffee and I'll tell you all about them!

We saw many people come to Christ this week, can I get a AMEN?! AMEN!!

It was amazing. I met some people from Illinois, Mississippi, Tech, UTA, and everywhere else serving. I'm so excited to hopefully see them all again!!

Love you guys,

Kassie :)

Prayer

Do you ever just wonder why? Why things happen?

As we’re driving to Florida, I checked my Facebook and found out some terrible news. A guy I grew up with, going to church with and such was killed in a wreck back home tonight.

I’m in shock right now, I’m just so sick of death. So sick of it, even though it’s a grim reality. He was 19 years old. The same age Ed was. It breaks my heart. I didn’t really see him or talk to him much after like 8th grade, but occasionally around town I’d see him. He still had the spunk he always did, even though he kind of turned into a bad boy he still was Chris to me. He was a good guy, even though he took the bad boy route. We went on Youth trips together growing up and such. He’s just Chris Owens to me, goofy Chris.

Why that’s what I keep asking?
Was there anything I could of said or done?
Oh why....I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong and why you’d leave the stage in the middle of a song.

I’m just praying so hard for his family right now, because I know that him and his parents weren’t very close, but I’m trusting in the Lord to grant His family grace and peace. 

Death is so real, and the enemy can use this to get ahold of us but thank God that I’m getting so much stronger in my faith and I won’t let satan do that to me. I feel like lately in life I’ve been completely surrounded by death, I don’t know what the Lord is trying to show me. Maybe it’s that we forget so often how precious life is, how tomorrow isn’t promised, and how the Lord can call us home anytime. We need to share His love with everyone, because God is something we don’t want to miss out on.

Now my life is in your hands.
On your every word I stand
I’m finding who I am in all you are.

My life is in the Lord’s hands, but if we cling to him he will keep us strong.

“Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.” Lamentations 3:32

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good; for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Keep praying.

Love you guys.
-kass

if you learn to find joy in even the most unbearable things in life.  you will never be un-happy.

the joy in this? He’s in a better place, not suffering anymore. <3

Love you Chris Owens
RIP Mister.
See you so soon.

I combined...

Gmail account and blogs, so if I start following you from a different account, just go with it. haha :)

http://love-pancakes.blogspot.com/

That'll be my blog this next week for Beach Reach! Check it out! We'll post videos and testimonies!

God rocks!

Love you!

see you soon

-kass

Shout unto God...

Oh man. Where do I start?

This weekend rocked my world. Completely!

This weekend was Campus Awakening...which was put on by the people who do Jesus Culture. Jesus Culture is by Bethel Church in Redding, CA! It rocked my world.

It's way different than most conservative Baptists would ever imagine. I was really hesitent at first, and after Friday night man my outlook was changed. I was talking to one of A&M's leaders, who happens to be a good friend of mine, and he was like why would you ever put God in a box? God can do ANYTHING. Absolutely ANYTHING. That was made clear this weekend.

I'm so full of the Father's Joy, and I just want to tell the world. God wrecked me this weekend in a good way, and I can't wait to tell the world.

He gave me peace about Beach Reach and loving on college kids, man I'm so excited!! :) God is going to do AMAZING things next week. And he's already doing great things at A&M!

Man my life is different and I LOVE IT!

See you soon.

-kass

horrid.

today was terrible.

absolutely terrible.

worst day in a long time.

but 5foryell basically won. just gotta get david up to 50.01 percent. and we can do that.

but terrible thursday it was.

why do I care about him again? UGH!

Last time...

I'll be a brunette for awhile!

I'm going blonde tomorrow! I got my hair cut though!

Low?

I just don't know these days.

Do you ever just care about someone and you have no earthly clue why? I feel like I like guys too fast but every time I try to not, I fail, miserably.

No guy has really liked me back like I've liked them, and I've really never let it show. I never let this kind of stuff get to me, I'm stronger and better than this is what I tell myself. But it's not true, I'll sit there and let a guy walk all over me, and I'll pretend I'm okay with being friends, when I'm really not. And what happens? Kassie gets hurt, really bad. But there's this part of me that sees the good in every single person, they could've literally ripped my heart out but I'd still look for the good in them. It gets me into so much trouble. I just wish I didn't care so much about every single person in my life, you know?

I just don't know what to do. I'm at a crossroad. I just don't want to care, but I do. I just want to have the strength to get rid of people in my life, but I can't. I have so few friends as it is, but when I know for a fact I can't just be friends with someone but I try? Why?! I know that if I hang out with this person, I'll try so hard to convince him to like me and all that, when I know good and well that's never going to happen. Why do I do this to myself?

For example, I told boy a that I couldn't pretend we were okay, and I'm fine with just being friends because I'm not. And you know what was going on in the back of my head? "Maybe he'll run after me." Like how stupid am I? I'm pathetic.

I end up crying myself to sleep, just like I will tonight.

I'm so tired of caring and such. I'm tired of wanting everyone to be happy even if it means I'm depressed. I'm so tired of this.

I'm the type of girl who will fall for a guy she barely knows; who
will listen to a love song and see his face; who will look for him
wherever she goes. I'm the type of girl who doesn't get over
things easily; who will beat herself up when someone doesn't
love her back; who will cry herself to sleep because she feels
she's not good enough. But I'm also the type of girl who's strong; who
can cry her eyes out and then forbid them to come back the next
morning; who will blast some old pop song and sing it at the top
of her lungs because she feels like it; who will be no one but herself.

Generation differences

I really want a tattoo because I feel like it'll have a story and from just looking at it no one will know but I will. It's a form of art. When I told my parents I wanted one, they flipped a shit. Threatened to cut me off and all this. This is just one more point as to how different our generations are. I mean when I got my nose and cartilage and second piercing they hated that but soon got over them.

I don't understand the big deal, if I was getting a picture of like something random I could understand, but this will have meaning, and such. I've had it drawn out for 2 years, and I just really want it. They flipped out. I mean at least I had the courtesy to ask/tell and just go do it and be like oh by the way I got a tattoo. That's what most of my friends did. My parents think I'm doing it out of spite, and to piss them off, and if that were the case I would've already done it, but I've been thinking long and hard about this.

I just don't think a tattoo will change who I am, just like I'm still Kassie even though I got my nose pierced.

I just don't get my parents brain. Maybe you guys can help me?

Have you and your parents been in an argument like this before? What should I do?

see you soon.

-kass