Saturday, October 9, 2010

They just flow...

Tears that is.

I find myself an emotional wreck today. Why? Roadtripping like this brings back so many memories of good times within a good friendship.

It's weird to see how different everyone is these days. Where everyone is in life. I've ran into a few people I went to HS with in the last week, and it's just weird. We're all in such drastically different places. Somedays I miss high school. The simplicity, the knowing that there's really no body to impress after your first day of your freshman year because everyone has known you your whole life.

Now I feel like we're all in this game to prove to each other that we're doing better than the other person. Everyone always asks me when I see someone from high school, "How's school? How's life? You working?"

It's like if you say school is terrible, they'll be like ha. If you say good, they'll be like oh me too. Or if you say I'm not in school right now they'll be like awesome, she sucks at life; but of course not like that to your face.

Sometimes you see those people and you put on the fake smile, the fake school's going great, the fake life is fabulous because you don't want them to judge you...

...if only they knew...

It's like we all have these expectations.

Frankly, I'm tired of them. So what if I'm not in school, so what if I go to Northgate, so what if I'm not friends with someone anymore.

Who gives a damn? It's my life, right?

But then, sometimes, I miss us all pretty much being equal, sophomore year of high school we just floated, we weren't worrying about colleges, but we were worrying about beating Bryan.

Things are so different, and I can't decide in what way it's good and what way it's bad.

Oh high school, what a curse you are on our lives.

How have you changed? Do you look back and ask yourself who the hell was that in HS? Or do you look back and miss that person?

Sometimes, I miss the Kassie I was in high school. The pretty Kassie, the non-drinking Kassie, the one who pretty much wasn't a loner.

oh life.

Hope you are having a good weekend!

Blessings from DFW,

No comments:

Post a Comment