Okay

I'm having this early twenties freak out right now.

My sister is about to graduate from high school and start college to become a teacher. My best friend from high school is graduating in May to become a teacher. My best friend in College Station is going to grad school in the fall and getting married in a year. I'm working full-time at a job with benefits. My best friend who went to school in Florida just moved back and she's going to get engaged this year, and she has a real job. It's crazy to think about.

I'm freaking out.

When did we grow up? When did we become adults? I'm absolutely excited for everyone but it's so scary to think that in a year we'll all be at totally different places because we're finally, for real this time, growing up.

Does this not freak anyone else out? 4 years ago I was about to walk across the stage to get my high school diploma. Now I go to work every morning and earn a paycheck. It's mind blowing how fast the last 4 years have gone by.

I think the friends I have are going to be there forever. I'm absolutely blessed with the people in my life, and I'm excited about all of our futures. My best four friends that I have, I wouldn't have told you that the 3 I met not in high school would be my best friends. But I love it!

I need to step back and write down my life plan, because I need to see where I wanna be in a year, or 5. I have no idea right now. It's changed so much in the last few years.

All I know is I'm loved by a God so much bigger than anyone could. I'm absolutely blessed to have the family and friends in my life.

Insecurity

I think my biggest flaw in life is being insecure. People never would guess this by the way I act, but I know it's my biggest obstacle. But why?

My friends always tell me no need to be insecure, find yourself in Christ, and everything will fall into place. But, let's be serious, when you hear that you're like, "yeah, okay." Sigh. I know I'm absolutely perfect to God, and I'm made in His image but the world sucks. The pressure that women constantly feel is so unnecessary. Except, it affects us so much. When you go to Wal-Mart there's a whole aisle dedicated to weigh loss supplements, and dietary foods etc. While, there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a certain size, obsessing over it is not the way to go. I don't want someone to like me for superficial reasons, because that's not going to last. I want you to like me because I'm me and I have a heart who longs to love someone, as scary as it is.

But who are we? We are in the world not of the world. We are of Christ. But do we actually understand what that means? We were formed in His image, and that means we are beautiful. It's a hard thing to grasp but it's so freeing. To know, that there's nothing to be insecure about, nothing to hide because the only one that we need, loves us so unconditionally it's crazy.

Being insecure is an obstacle, but lately I've been spending time with the one who loves me the most, Jesus, and it's really helping me. It's just amazing to see how in the bible he spells out how much he loves us and how we are his. It's refreshing, really. It's something I'm constantly working on because I do not want to be insecure. I know I'm the daughter of the most high King, and he loves me unconditionally. And that is enough!

Forgiven beloved, hidden in Christ, made in the image of the Giver of Life, righteous and holy, reborn and remade, accepted and worthy this is our new name. This is who we are now.

Something I'm working on, and through Christ all things are possible! :)

Be blessed,

You just know...

God has intricately planned my life, and I don't know what it entails entirely but I do know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Ever just wake-up and realize that it's okay to go against the life plans you've had for years? The industry you thought you'd be in forever, just isn't where you want to be anymore. But, to be honest you had absolutely no idea what job you were going to end up with? I was no longer working in a hotel setting, but I had no job prospects and no idea what I was going to do. It was stressful to say the least. I was applying for jobs everywhere online, forgetting half the time to where I was applying. It'd been about a week and a half and I didn't think I was getting anywhere. Last Wednesday I got a call to come in for an interview at an apartment complex for a full-time leasing agent. I thought this would be absolutely perfect for me, because I've worked in real-estate a little before, while it's different than real-estate it's similar. Well I got offered the job two days later. Can you say, JESUS?! The job pays well and I can get benefits, it's truly a blessing.

So I started yesterday, and I had no idea what to expect. I didn't do a lot because everyone is getting ready for a housing fair at A&M today. I just feel that I'm supposed to be here. I'm supposed to show up to work every day filled with joy. I'm supposed to love my coworkers more than I ever have before. I'm supposed to love all the residents here, and just be full of joy. I just know I'm supposed to be here. I just all of the sudden have this absolutely new attitude on life. I'm so thankful that before we were born God knew where I was going to go in life. He knew I was going to be sitting at this desk just overwhelmed with His presence and love for me and my coworkers. I just know that this is where I'm destined to be at this exact moment, and I'm absolutely okay with it.

I think we, as humans, fail to realize we can't control our future as much as we think we can. God has our lives planned and knows what we will be doing. We need to follow and listen to Him, and TRUST Him.

I went to Passion 2012 in January, and I have been listening to the music and talking to people from it, and I just have realized how my problems fail in comparison to most. 27 million people are in modern day slavery. My problem of not having money fails in comparison to the girls who die because of modern day slavery. God will win this war, and we will help. It's amazing how much human trafficking has been in the news since Passion. It's really awesome how many people have come together to support this cause.

I'm just completely overwhelmed by God's grace and plans for my life.

I absolutely love Ephesians 6:19, Shelley Giglio tweeted it after Passion and I love it.
"Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel."

I just know God's plan for my life is coming together, and I'm absolutely excited about the future. SO excited. <3