Monday, August 30, 2010

Measure of Beauty

Lindsey Kane is a song writer, who was a student teacher at my HS my junior or sophomore year. She went to A&M and she leads worship now.

She did a video back in the day and I came across it tonight and it touched my heart, again.

Measure of Beauty:
(Sorry this is the arabic captioned one, the real one is being stupid.)
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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Crazy Love

This week has sucked up until yesterday.

I got home from the hotel and slept for 7 hours. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I woke up feeling a little better and I was looking through text messages to figure out what to do that night. I came across a text from the beautiful Sarah Postma, and she invited me to a potluck dinner with lifegroup. I just felt this urgency to go. It wasn't by coincidence that she invited me and I went.

I go and we just start fellowshipping and everyone is talking to me asking me how I was, and I wasn't okay. We start talking and stuff and I just confess sins to the group and I felt so much better. I felt freedom! Then 2 girls prayed over me and we talked and I saw the Lord wrap His arms around me and tell me everything will be okay, I've got you. It was the most amazing feeling ever!

I'm doing so much better, it's amazing how God does things.

I bought the book Crazy Love last night and started reading it, and it's really good. I'm just in awe of God!!

God is so faithful, I'm so thankful!

Love you guys!
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Saturday, August 14, 2010

It seems

Just like yesterday you were playing basketball with Chris when I drove home.

Just like yesterday your family was living 2 houses away.

Just like yesterday that you left this Earth.

I can't believe we're coming upon the 4 year mark of Ed's passing. It's crazy to think it's been 4 years since that terrible night.

I know for a fact Ed is watching over us and smiling.

Every time I look up and see it's the 15th, I just am reminded again of how precious life is. God doesn't promise us tomorrow. We seem invincible, but we will be called home one day too you know.

Life is precious. precious. precious.

Ed was an amazing person, one of my heroes in life. I wish I got 5 more minutes with him. I will one day!

Love and miss you Ed. :)
See you soon boy,
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Friday, August 13, 2010

It's sad..

When someone you used to call your best friend, is someone you barely know. It hurts actually.

I mean okay, it's not the end of the world, but when it's someone you swore was going to be in your wedding, and be the girlfriend you ditch your husband for the weekend to see, it's not okay.

The one person who knows you almost as well as you do.

THIS SUCKS.

I thought I'd be okay with it, but I'm not.

Everyone's like "y'all will work it out." I'm afraid this time, we're really becoming two totally different people.

I guess it's time for me to realize that the people you'd thought would be around forever, won't be and that life does go on. I just gotta trust the man upstairs.

It's so hard to care about someone who you can tell doesn't care about you...

It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and how now, you can barely even look at them.

..such truth.


Vegas in September, I'm so pumped!!
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Nope.

I'm so tired of living in the past, I feel like it's all I do.

Guess it's time to move on? It's going to hurt like hell, but I can't love someone who has doubts about everything, and doesn't want people to know he loves me. NO. I'm tired of that bullshit.

I'm putting my effing foot down, enough is enough.

Time to forget about a boy who doesn't care about me.

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Monday, August 9, 2010

Man.

Time is flying.

Seriously.

4 years ago I was 16 years old. 2-a-days for HS football has just started, my junior year of HS was starting, I had my own car, Ed was alive, and playing basketball down the street.

Today, I am 20 years old, my sister is a trainer and her 2-a-days just started, I'm a junior in College, and I kinda have my own car, but Ed isn't here.

Just weird. Weird to think he's not here, but glad to know he's in a much better place.

I see his parents and brother about once or twice a year since they moved up north. Chris has gotten so tall, and so grown up. It's CRAZY.

Ed is an amazing person, and I miss him every day! I still want to drive home and see his car there, but alas it's not. But every day it's getting a little easier.

I am so grateful to have got the chance to know him, and live close to him.

Can't believe the 4 year mark is around the corner.

RIP Ed King
12/22/1987-09/15/2006

I miss you and love you so much Ed

Have a blessed Tuesday folks.
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IT'S HERE!! :D

Football season is here.

I LOVE FOOTBALL SEASON.

I'm probably one of the few girls who can keep up in a football conversation, and knows what's going on. It's kind of intimidating, honestly. But it's my life, and I like it.

This makes me all giddy inside, I love football season. The smell of the freshly cut grass, the sound of tackles being made, helmets hitting each other, the sound of 80,000 Aggies yelling for our team. It's beautiful music.

What's your favorite time of the year? Mine is for sure fall! I LOVE football season, and the fact my birthday is in the fall too, helps!

Btw, Vegas in December for my birthday, I need a group to go, who's down?! :)

BTHO SFA!! :)

Gig 'Em Ags!
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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Who is she?

I look in the mirror, and I don't know who I'm looking at.

This girl that the has conformed to this world, this girl living behind a mask, this girl no one truly knows but maybe 3 people.

This girl who drinks her problems away, this girl who tries to find satisfaction in boys, this girl that I don't even know anymore.

Why? Why did I let the world consume who I am?

Frankly, I feel like it's the only thing I'm good at. I'm good at falling into the worldly things. I'm not good at living this good, Christian life. But I know for a fact, the ONLY time I'm truly happy and satisfied is when my relationship with Christ is on the right path, and healthy. I know for a fact that's when I'm happiest.

Recently, someone I care about so much and love to death, really caught my eye, I go through this cycle all the time, it's time to end it once and for all. I know for a fact that I control my future, and right now it's leading down the wrong path. I have to stop this cycle, and I think I'm slowly getting there, but it's so hard. I know Jesus tells us we have to lose everything, and we do, for real. I need to find new friends, maybe that means like being a loner for a long time, but ya know I think for the first time in my life, I'd be okay with that.

I'm tired of pleasing this world, and the people in it. There's ONE person I need to please, and that's my Heavenly Father, that's it.

I'm going to change my life starting now, it's 4AM and I'm going to get up for church in 4 hours, and start diving into the word, and start living my life full of Him.

HE IS ALL I NEED.

Pray for me, will you?

Starting today, a new Kassie will be made, one in Christ, and one in his likeness.

I love you guys,
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